Hi, my name is Brendan! In my life I have watched so many films, I should have kept track honestly. I have viewed films in many different settings and I think from my expertise I have come up with a way to properly watch a film.
First, obviously, you must pick a movie! If you need help you can use the time saving website What The Hell Should I Watch On Netflix. Once you have picked the movie go to YouTube. Once there, you're going to want to look up three to six movie trailers for movies coming out soon and in the genre of the film you are going to watch. This will act as sort of an overture, it'll get you into the right mindset to watch a film of that genre.
Open the trailers in different tabs, and then walk to your kitchen. While these videos are loading (we let them load before hand to avoid buffering) we're gonna get our snack on! Now you can eat whatever snacks you want, but I have a go to for movie watching: a slightly-burnt bag of popcorn, and a pitcher of Miller Lite. Mmmm. It's optional, but I keep a six pack near my bed for when the pitcher runs dry.
You are now on your couch, or in your room. Buzz buzz, your phone vibrates. TURN IT TO AIRPLANE MODE. The only way to properly view a film is no outside interruption, especially if you are watching a period piece where they had no cell phones.
You're either cuddled up with a loved one/your newest Tinder match, or on your couch swaddled in a blanket, or maybe you're lying in bed swaddled in a blanket cuddling with your puppy, but now you're ready to pre-view.
You now hit the play button on the first trailer, and you take a sip of the refreshingly chilled Miller. You watch the trailers and eat a couple handfuls of popcorn. You are now in what I call "Movie Nirvana." You are properly cut off from the outside world, you've taken a few sips of your beer, you're watching movie trailers, you're suspending your belief, and you are euphoric.
The trailers are done. You're in the head space. You hit play. Enjoy the ride!
It is essential that you do not pause a film, or rewind it on first viewing. Unless it is a life-threatening emergency it is advised by four out of five doctors to not pause a film on first viewing. There are many ways to break your suspension of disbelief, but the worst way to do that is pause it. Just imagine you are seeing someone go about their daily life, on screen, and immediately you pause the scene. The frame halts. You are now staring at someone, who in your head, was just going about their daily life and now they are stalled. They are not moving, and you have now lost the mindset.
You have finished the movie! You're sad, or happy, or crying, or scared, but you're feeling. You are feeling something. And then you realize that is what movies are for. Movies are for forgetting, for two or so hours, about the mundane-ness that life can sometimes be. If you're sad you can watch Step Brothers and laugh uncontrollably, and forget your pains for some time. Movies are made by humans to make other humans feel something, whether they want to cheer up someone or make someone cry and feel something they don't feel everyday, movies are made to make you feel. And you can tell who the sellouts are because they don't make you feel anymore. Welcome back to our team Michael Bay.