"Shake with your right hand, but hold a rock in your left." Frank Underwood is back for House of Cards season four to lead the country into ruin. The world of politics is a dog eat dog one, so imagine the very worst of the worst being in charge of the country. A Hateful Eight meets Suicide Squad of liars, cheats and murderers... Let's run down the top 10.
President: Frank Underwood (House of Cards)
Poor Kate Mara, for a while it looked as if the plucky journalist could be a grounding for Frank Underwood. Frank shoved Zoe Barnes in-front of a passing subway train at the start of season two and our mouths have been stuck open since. The corrupt POTUS has quite literally killed his way to the top and we have learnt a valuable lesson from Patrick Swayze, "nobody puts baby in the corner." There is a whole Tumblr dedicated to Frank Underwood quotes, but a personal fave is:
I am willing to let your child wither and die inside you, if that's what's required
It is therefore easy to see why Frank is currently engaged in a War of the Roses style feud with wife Clare, season four means that politics aren't Frank's only adversary. Also likely to rear its head again, the promotional footage for season four shows hints of a passing subway train. Could the ghosts of Frank's past catch up with him?
Vice-President: Caroline Reynolds (Prison Break)
FOX smash hit Prison Break wasn't exactly known for its likeable characters. From the corrupt agent Mahone, to surly Officer Bellick and paedophile T-Bag; but for stone cold badness it goes to Wicked Bitch of the West, Caroline Reynolds. The staged death of her brother Terrance Steadman was the catalyst that started the show. Lincoln Burrows was framed and ultimately drove Michael Schofield in to Fox River Penitentiary. No stranger to politics, Reynolds started the show as Vice-President before making her way to numero uno and the presidency. After the president was assassinated, Reynolds is announced at the 46th President of the United States, but her tenure is short lived. But when Michael gets hold of a phone call between Reynolds and Steadman he attempts to blackmail her into pardoning Lincoln. She is due to be assassinated herself, but before that (or her pardoning of Burrows) she feigns a rare form of cancer and resigns. It is unknown if Reynolds ever gets her comeuppance, but we assume she was arrested for her crimes.
Secretary of State: The Man in Black (LOST)
Where is Benjamin Linus I hear you roar... Sure the former Henry Gale served as LOST's main antagonist, but in the grand scheme of things Linus was just a puppet for the Man in Black. He is evil incarnate, M.I.B. was literally trapped on the time travelling island to prevent himself spreading all over the world. M.I.B was also the island's spooky security system/smoke monster, offing the likes of Mr. Eko (his character was axed for drink driving) and Danielle Rousseau's crew mates. Raised on the island, M.I.B. was wary of the outside world, but murdered his own mother whilst trying to escape using the 'frozen donkey wheel.' His brother Jacob (yes he WAS real) took revenge on M.I.B. and plunged him into the heart of the island, thereby creating the smoke monster. In a giant game of chess, LOST's final season showed us that everything that had brought our Losties to the island was the result of a war between M.I.B. and Jacob in the search for a successor to protect the world.
Secretary of the Justice: Leland Palmer/BOB (Twin Peaks)
Annie you ok? One person that certainly wasn't was hot-shot attorney Leland Palmer. Whilst only lasting two seasons and a TV movie, Twin Peaks became something of a cult legend as we tried to decipher who killed homecoming queen Laura Palmer. In a wicked twist, it turns out that it was not only her father Leland, but he was actually possessed by an evil entity called BOB (based on a man who molested Leland as a child). Leland/BOB was pretty much responsible for every murder in the town and was eventually caught by F.B.I. agent Dale Cooper. When we last left the sleepy Washington town, Leland/BOB was seen six feet under, so when Twin Peaks EVENTUALLY returns we will see if it is Leland or BOB on the guest list.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Gyp Rosetti (Boardwalk Empire)
The Italian Stallion gave Nucky Thompson his hardest (and arguably best) season of the Atlantic City mobster beat 'em up. Whereas at the core Thompson was a family man and respected member of the community, Rosetti showed no qualities of any humanity. From the get go Rosetti bowled into town and caused mayhem. In his very first scene he beat a man to death with a tyre iron just for insulting him, to add insult to injury, he then stole the man's dog. He went on to set fire to local town sheriff, before blowing up Babette's Supper Club and killing Nucky's squeeze Billy Kent. Rosetti finally led the attack on Nucky Thompson at the Ritz Carlton hotel before setting up camp at a brothel. Somehow Rosetti escaped the bloodbath at Gillian Darmody's whore house, only to be assassinated by his own men, mid urination on the beach. Well, there is a law against it!
Secretary of Commerce: Gustavo Fring (Breaking Bad)
A mild mannered fried chicken shop owner, how has fried chicken ever hurt anyone? Breaking Bad's Walter White should have dropped out of the meth business early, but when teaming up with Los Pollos Hermanos owner Gustavo Fring, White was entered into a whole network of blue meth distribution. The two teamed up against the cartel, but a greedy Walter White wanted more recognition for his hard work. Things went sour for the Fring/White bromance towards the end of season four and someone was always going to lose out. Luckily Fring got the sendoff he deserved in one of the all time best TV deaths ever... An exploding O.A.P. With half his face blown off, Fring still managed to find time to straighten his tie before dropping dead.
Secretary of Defense: Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones)
The bastard son of incest, Joffrey Baratheon/Lannister's claim to The Iron Throne was about as straight as Renley Baratheon. A Justin Bieber of Game of Thrones, for four seasons Jack Gleeson became about the most hated child since Damien from The Omen. Joffrey may have defeated Stannis at The Blackwater and lead the war against Robb Stark, but he did it cowering behind his mother. By the end of his run, it was only mummy dearest that cared for her golden haired child. In a Who Shot J.R.? (see below) saga, Joffrey met his demise on his own wedding day after drinking some poisoned wine. Some said it was the pigeon pie, but no, it was definitely the wine. Currently his uncle Tyrion and former fiancée Sansa Stark are both wanted for Joffrey's murder, but it was Dame Diana Rigg who did the nasty. The current ruler of Westeros is younger brother Tommen, a much nicer boy who doesn't have a penchant for beheading Sean Bean.
Secretary of Labor: Sylar (Heroes)
To be honest, Sylar should be on her just for those god-awful eyebrows. Heroes original bad boy, Sylar could absorb the powers of those around him, but only by killing them. He had a pretty good knack for this and enjoyed slicing the top of your head off. Sylar was identified as 'patient zero' and went on quite a journey from bad to good, even spending three years in a mental prison. The cat with nine lives, we always thought we had seen the last of Sylar. It was once revealed he was now imitating Nathan Petrelli after being trapped in his body. Although not back for Heroes Reborn, Zachary Quinto stuck to his bad ways when playing evil Dr. Thredson in American Horror Story: Asylum. You can now 'Spock' him playing Captain Kirk's right-hand man in the Star Trek films.
Secretary of the Tresuary: Monty Burns (The Simpsons)
Mr. Burns's crimes cover everything - dalmatian coats, vampire tendencies, blocking out the sun. You name it, Monty has done it. In the most watched episode(s) ever 'Who Shot Mr. Burns?' unfolded when we finally thought we had seen the last of Springfield's oldest super villain. It turns out the baby did it, but an alternative ending saw Monty's long time aide/admirer Waylon Smithers guns down the 123 year old. The owner of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Mr. Burns was originally conceived as a pop up villain. The character evolved into a mean representation of corporate America and even in season 27 Burns makes Hank Scorpio look like an angel.
Secretary of Homeland Security: Nina Myers (24)
Moley, moley, moley. Before every season of 24 contained a 'guess the mole' plotline, we were actually stunned to find out Jack Bauer's one time lover was a double agent. The CTU had already exposed one mole that season, so to have Nina twist the knife his us hard. To really rub salt in the wound, Nina brutally gunned down Teri Bauer in the ultimate WTF finale. A recurring antagonist in seasons 2 and 3, Nina continued to give Jack a headache by playing cat and mouse. In season three Nina once again escapes custody at the CTU and after threatening Kim Bauer Nina and Jack have a showdown. He shoots Nina in the shoulder, but when she continues to reach for her gun he gives her one more in the head. Poetically Nina dies in the same room she killed Teri... Karma
Secretary of Agriculture: J.R. Ewing (Dallas)
'Who Shot J.R.?' is synonymous with American popular culture, printed on T-shirts, parodied and even giving The Simpsons material. Over 83 million people tuned in to see who shot the Texas bad boy. We had waited for over eight months to find out it was in fact his sister-in-law and mistress Kristin Shepard. In the 2012 sequel, still called Dallas, J.R. was back and shot AGAIN (this time fatally). Larry Hangman's final episode was a fitting tribute to the legacy of J.R. It was revealed in the season three finale that J.R. had terminal cancer and his swansong was arranging the shooting to end the Ewing/Barnes family feud. Paying the ultimate price, it was Cliff Barnes who was framed for J.R.'s murder and put away in prison. As J.R.'s son John Ross said:
The only person that could take down J.R.---was J.R.
Popping up on Mr. Nasty lists all over, TV Guide named J.R. the #1 TV villain of all time. The egocentric oil baron certainly had some psychopathic tendencies.
So there we have it, a cabinet that makes Trump look kind hearted. Who would be in your villain's White House?