My Facebook status declares me as single, but I could never begin a relationship without their understanding of my committed marriage to The Walking Dead. I am the godmother to Maggie and Glens child, Rick and I are on best bud terms and when it comes to Daryl…well let’s leave that to the next series.
I never thought that I would be addicted to a TV series. I’ve always been a bookworm, like the modern day version of Disney princess Belle, minus the fact that I'm blonde, don't have a romantic Beast keeping me hostage and my teacup doesn't talk to me. I only watched TV here and there when something caught my attention. However, when I embarked upon the binge watching of Series One with baby Carl and the beginning of the walkers, little did I realize how it would filter into my every day life. Sure, it took over exam revision (apologies for the B in history Mr. West but the fate of Hershel’s farm was a priority), resulted in 4 hours sleep before a 9-hour workday and some definite butt cramp-trust me it’s the worst! But it wasn’t until I caught up and had to wait for the new series that I realised how engrossed I was with Rick and the team.
Firstly, over the course of a month of watching The Walking Dead my shopping list had gradually increased in the number of none perishables such as canned beans, cereal bars, precooked rice etc and less of fresh food. JUST in case there ever happened to be a sudden food shortage, because no way was I eating moldy bananas or dog food. However, when I had a whole shelf of Heinz beans I knew it was time to stop (farts could attract walkers which is a hazard to the team.)
Then on my daily train journeys to my place of work, I began plotting escape plans and safe places to hide if an apocalypse occurred. My house would be a reasonable location to set up base to begin with, due to being three stories high with a balcony, in which we could barricade each floor and eventually flee via the balcony to a new location. Plus, as discovered above the house is well stocked . Then we would drive to the canal and transfer all our essential possessions onto a canal barge, which we would use as transport to open water only using land if supplies ran out. It would be warm, inaccessible to walkers, and a good source of transport. We would pack bikes onto the barge for when land trips were required in order to transport supplies without the noise of a car, but still providing enough speed to flee the walkers.
Obviously, when I told my parents of this plan they thought I was downright insane! But how do you not know that some crazy virus is going to turn us all into flesh eating zombies? Exactly! Preparation is key. However, when I was on my way to rehearsals the other day (in a church may I add), I had to walk through a graveyard at 7pm at night by which it was pretty much a black hole. I meandered along the path using my IPhone torch for guidance but couldn’t help feel on edge. That tingly feeling, as if a hedgehog is roling along your skin raising each individual hair to attention as it goes. The feeling of being watched. I’m not going to lie I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone put their hand on my shoulder, only for it to be one of the ensemble trying to catch me up because I’d dropped a ballet shoe.
I decided to draw a line, I did not want it to get to the stage where I was keeping baseball bats by my bed and living off Nutrigrain bars to chip down my ridiculous stock of rations. So I’ve cancelled my survival course, packed my walking boots away and tried to fit into the apocalypse that we already live in. The Walking Dead is an amazing series, but time for me to exist in normality again, but hey at least I know I’m prepared.
P.S. by no means will I stop watching the series, because 9pm Monday nights are a highlight in my household, along with Wednesdays for Pretty Little Liars, Sundays for Gossip Girl…