ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Now, when it comes to analyzing the motives of his friends, Batman has spent much of his super-heroic career giving preciously no damns about the consequences. Sure, it's led to a handful of Earth-threatening situations, and yes, his fellow Justice League-ers tend to be deeply offended by it, but that hasn't exactly stopped Bruce Wayne from keeping detailed files on pretty much everyone around him.

While that may seem a little unusual when it comes to Bruce's allies, however - as we saw yesterday - there's a pretty solid argument to be made that the keeping of similar files on the DC universe's villains is actually a pretty darned excellent idea.

Which is of course why...

Batman's Super-Secret Supervillain Files Are Surprisingly Sensible

And, what's more, coming from the same (Jim Krueger penned, and Alex Ross and Doug Braithwaite artistically conjured) series as their super-heroic equivalents, the 17 Imgur-unearthed profiles below are also distinctly awesome... and make Batman seem like less of a lunatic.

First up?

17. Lex Luthor Is Essentially Evil Batman

And an endless disappointment to the Dark Knight.

16. Clayface Could Have Been Anything That He Wanted To Be

You give a little love and it all comes back to you, and all that.

15. Black Adam And Sivana Are Different, Yet The Same

Magic or no, they're still misguided as hell.

14. Toyman Hasn't Been Able To Put Away Childish Things

Or get over the cruelty of a childhood neighbor...

13. Poison Ivy Is Apparently Too Crazy To Reason With

Which seems... inaccurate, somehow.

12. Metallo And Parasite Say As Much About Superman As Themselves

Not all of it good.

11. Gorilla Grodd Is A Gorilla

And, in Batman's hands, an example of the fundamentally criminal nature of life itself, apparently.

10. The Riddler Has A Damn Good Reason For His Insanity

Which... kind of counter-acts a whole lot of Batman's other arguments, but there you go.

9. Black Manta Is Apparently Just Hateful

Suggesting that Batman probably wouldn't be part of the Black Lives Matter movement.

8. Brainiac Was Born To Be Bad

Or, rather, he was just drawn that way...

7. Bizarro And Solomon Grundy Are Both Forces Of Nature

Albeit with very different origin stories...

6. Cheetah Suffers From Being Too Rich, Apparently

No one tell Bernie Sanders...

5. Giganta Is A Mystery Wrapped In An Enigma...

...wrapped in Batman not going to the trouble to find out more about her.

4. Captain Cold Is A Small Man In Many Ways. A Small, Small Man

Though you kind of get the feeling that Batman just thinks his name is silly.

3. Scarecrow Chose... Poorly

But in another reality, perhaps he and Batman could have been friends...

2. Sinestro's Greatest Weakness Is His Pride

Well, that, or he just really doesn't like Hal Jordan.

And, finally?

1. The Joker Is Completely Sane, Apparently

Which is a troubling thought, when you think about it...

What do you think, though?


Is Batman on the money with his analysis?

via Imgur


Latest from our Creators