ByPaul Donovan, writer at Creators.co
A jerk with an opinion. An explorer of transgressive cinema. See more things about movies at https:[email protected]_donovan
Paul Donovan

The country of Egypt must be cursed, because so many bad movies are set there. This is one of the most boring.

1. This (mostly) found-footage film is a boring mess with lots of random scenes that have no purpose except to fill time.

2. It's set during the Egyptian protests of 2013 (if you don't remember them, that's OK. I don't even know why they were mentioned - the characters aren't involved with them). A strange three-sided pyramid has been found buried in the desert, so a documentary crew show up to film the process, and hopefully enter the tomb through an entrance that has been conveniently placed at the top of the pyramid, which they have uncovered.

3. When the tomb is opened, a puff of green gas explodes out and covers people and makes them scream. I thought maybe they would turn into zombies (or at least mummies). But no. Only one person is hurt, and he lives. Then the gas clears out.

4. Of course, the documentary team enters the pyramid and immediately get lost. Then we have about 30 minutes of watching people walk and crawl through tunnels. It's only scary if you have claustrophobia.

5. It turns out that cats can survive 4500 years in a buried pyramid if they eat each other.

6. The Egyptian god of the dead, Anubis, has a small role in the film. But he's evil, and he likes to take out people's hearts and weigh them while the person is still alive.

7. The characters are one-dimensional, and spend most of the movie freaking out about one thing or another. I didn't care at all about them, so I had absolutely no feelings when they died. I was just glad something actually happened.

8. The movie spent a lot of time ripping off Aliens, right down to some of the music.

9. This movie was lost from the beginning, even before people went into the pyramid. This is a 28-minute short film with an extra hour of padding and terrible CGI. Even those 28 minutes would have been better off just being released on YouTube.

Trailer:

What did you think? Was this movie as scary as sand, or is it a buried gem?
Let us know!

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