ByKeisha Swafford, writer at
I am a beautiful black queen and a child of God. I love writing stories and poems. Enjoy reading and watching movies!
Keisha Swafford

Dear Diary,

Mindy Lahiri again. I keep hearing about this amazing woman named Mindy Kaling. She has the same name as me. That’s weird. I am my own role model but I can’t help but like this woman. Who is she and where can I find her? I’ve decided to do some research on her. Okay, I’m doing some light internet stalking on her but that’s not the point.

She Looks Hot!

I have to see how she looks. She can’t be sexier than me. I’m a hot, smart woman with a butt that doesn’t quit! She’s cute and I see that is she is Indian American like me! That’s cool. She is extremely intelligent, ambitious, and a hard worker. Interesting…this Mindy woman and I could be friends. Ahh…Imagine. Mindy and I are hanging out together like the women from Sex and the City getting our hair and nails done together, talking about guys, and going shopping together! I know we will be mistaken as sisters, like the Kardashians! Oh how amazing that would be! Me, a Kardashian. People will be calling out, “Mindy! Mindy! Mindy!” Sorry, I zoned out there. It is like we are meant to be besties!

Living the Dream!

I wonder what she does for a living. OMG!! She’s an actress, writer, comedian, and executive producer! We were introduced to this wonderful woman on the NBC sitcom The Office, where she portrayed the character Kelly Kapoor and served as executive producer, writer and director on the show! She made her film debut in the movie, 40-Year-Old Virgin! I love that movie! She has played in such movies as Unaccompanied Minors as a waitress, had a small part in License to Wed, was a tour guide in the 2009 film Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, and voiced Taffyta Muttonfudge in Disney's animated comedy film, Wreck-It Ralph. In 2011 she played the role of a doctor named Shira, who is the roommate and colleague of Emma (Natalie Portman) in No Strings Attached. Most recently, she voiced the character Disgust in the 2015 Pixar animated film, Inside Out. She is like living my dream life right now! I am so jealous!

Welcome to the Good Life!

Despite living like a celebrity, she seems genuine and down to earth. She is the author of two successful books. Her memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), was written in 2011. Her second book called Why Not Me? was based on personal life events that have happened to her since 2011 and was published on September 15, 2015. I really want to read her books! She is even working on a third book! Where does she find time to write all these books?! I barely have time to write in my diary. Maybe she can help me meet my Kanye. Oh wait. Danny is my fiancé! I have to remember that.

Similar Family Life!

Mindy’s mom used to be a OBGYN like me and her parents are Indian immigrants like mine. We both have brothers, but hers is older than mine. My brother wants to be a rapper, but hers is an anti-affirmative action activist. The closest thing I got to charity work was helping children in Haiti with my ex Casey.

Work Hard, Play Hard!

She is strong, confident, and a boss! I am too! I am the most popular gynecologist in the clinic! She knows how it feels to be the only woman in a work environment surrounded by men. Sometimes we don’t get the attention we deserve because we are women, but we have to demand respect in order to get it! I think I love her.

Fashion Twins!

She’s got an amazing sense of fashion! I love all of her clothes. We can exchange ideas and shopping tips. We have the same expensive taste in clothes but she goes to more elaborate awards shows and movie premieres! Damn it! Instead of Beyonce Pad Thai, my warrior name is going to be Mindy Kaling!

Single and Ready to Mingle!

I’m surprised she’s still single. She is vivacious and has curves in all the right places! All the men in the world must be brain dead to not settle down with Mindy Kaling, my future best friend! I’m sure she will find someone soon. She’s definitely a catch! She needs to find more ways to look bangable at work. That always helps me! Awww man! Now I’m getting horny.

I better wrap this up. I have work in the morning and I’m exhausted. I can’t guarantee I won’t send myself to her. But if I did, she would love me! Call me Mindy Kaling!


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