Jessa Valderama POV.
Saying goodbye to the person that you love the most? is the hardest thing in this world.
Family, friends or even your Partner in life.
Why we need to say goodbye to the people who always gave us motivations, Inspiration and Hope?
We all have reasons why we need to do that. To hurt the someone who I love the most or we love the most.
I'm Jessa Valderama my story tell us.. Do we need to hold on? Do we need to fight if we all know that we can't and there's no chance to win?
I'm a college student from the Philippines in the Cavite State University-Main Campus, Taking of BSRM.
Like I said it before? Why we need to hold on?
I met this guy name Josel Santiago. He is also a college student taking BSRM. He is also my classmate.
We so much close to each other even our secrets are we been share. But I secretly inlove with him even if he doesn't like me. I know it because he likes Lorraine Hernandez.
How about me? This kind of friendzone situation? I like him, but we just friends. I'm happy because were friends but how about my feelings? Complicated right?
We have a bonding moments that we always do. We always write a stories and write a love letter for our crushes. One time I help him to write a love letter for Lorraine Hernandez. He going tell me what is i'm going to write and he tells me this things...
Dear, Lorraine Hernandez
I'm Josel Santiago, Honestly I have crush on you, or we just tell that i'm your secret admirer. I like you and I hope a have a chance from you. I don't have the brave that tell this thing in front of you. I hope you undestand that. I like you and that all, I don't have reasons why I like you because i believe that when your inlove in one person and there no reasons why? That's true love right? I hope you like this letter for you.
By. Josel Santiago
One time we have a group project a dance project. This dance project is a enterpretative dance.
Josel and me acting as partner in this performance.
I always act like a friend of him. I want to show how is he important to me but I can't.
We always talks about Lorraine Hernandez in during practice days and rehearsals. It feels like losing my place on him. I want to say to him that 'How about me?
How about my feelings?
But i know we just friends and you don't like me because you always said that 'I love Lorraine I have crush on her but how?
When you always said it to me? It's hurting me so MUCH! I want to give up but i know theres a little chance in your heart telling that how is important me in your life. I'm just your FRIEND that i can be there always by your side and I will continue to hold on.
Now our group performing this dance.
'Sometimes Love is ain't enough by. Charice'
Music is now playing.
During our performance i was crying why? it because I feel it. The music saying to me how it's hurt to love the person that he doesn't love me too. Saying that how i'am fool that never see the true. Josel he doesn't likes me but me? I like him so MUCH!
I'm just a friend! Stop jessa thinking that you have a chance to josel! Your just a friend and nothing gonna change that!
During that moment I realize to STOP. But how?
Days, Weeks and Months passed as by.
I can't to hold on. It's hurting me for a long time. I need to give up! There a only chance to be free! So? I give up...
I lose hope that someday he gonna likes me too. He gonna love me back.
I need to move on. But I know that there is no us. So I act like a friend. I focus my self to study.
but? One time josel came in our house and I saw he was crying,
I ask him why? I been shock? when he hugs me.
I'm freeze.. What i'm going to do? and I was wondering that what happen? is this lorraine fault?!
-Josel what happen is this lorraine right?
When he answered 'no' I'm confused.
So i ask him.
-Jessa? I have a lucemia stage 2 and I only have 2 years left to live.
-Are you kidding?
Moment that I heard that? Should I believe of that kind of joke?!
-No? jessa.. I have a lucemia.. and if you don't want to believe of that i'm not going to push you to believe. But i just want you to know...
Then he start to cry.
That moment I started to believe. I hug him then I cry.
-What are we going to do? Should I say goodbye starting today?
When he said that to me. I'm angry because why he need to say goodbye?
-Jocel if your thinking that this is the end? no! We should be do enjoy the 2 years left that god giving you! I'm here for you as always.. Don't giving up.. There's have many of chances to live.
-Thank you.. Jessa.
Then he hug me. Starting that moment I don't want to live him alone, I want to stay.
Days and Months passed as by.
I need to tell him the trueth. I love him, and it's ok for me if he doesn't love me too.
One time, I have a chance to tell him the trueth.
he is now on the Hospital. That moment that it feels like, The person that you love the most is now laying down in the bed and waiting when he wake's up.
While he sleeping.
I tell him this things...
-My bestfriend, Thank you so much for the all things we've been through. I know that i'm just your friend but I wish that you already notice it that I like you. I'm so sorry if our friendship is going to be broken for this moment. I love you so much and I don't know what i'm going to do if you going to leave me just like that, Jocel I want you to know that how is you important in my life even if you don't like me too. In my heart your always be my one and only.
While I saying those words, Jocel's awake.
I'm just thinking that he is already heard that all things that i said?
When I ask him? I already holding his hands. And he hold it. I was shock.
-Thank you, for all the words that you said. How is me important to you? thank you for being my best friend. Thank you because you don't want to leave me alone even If i know that's going to be hard for you. Jessa? I love you too.
-Jocel? I love you more..
-But jessa I love you because you are my bestfriend, I love you because for all the sacrifice that you have done to me. I love you more than a friend because I feel from you that, I feel that you are my family. Sorry if i don't like you to be my girl because I know our friendship long lasting than a partner in life. After a few months i'm going to say goodbye to you, I know that it's hard but I always live and alive in your heart.
After he said it to me, I cry.. and I hug him.
-Jocel It's ok.
-Thank you jessa for understanding...
Then he lay down, while i hugging him.
And when i look at the monitor, He passed away...
-No...no... no..!! no!!
-doctor please!! Please help me!! Jocel! wake up! don't leave me just like that!! jocel!! wake up... Please help us!!!
I run through out the door and I started to scream..
-Where is the doctor... please help us!!!
The doctor was came out and trying to help jocel. I just watching what happen to him, I don't know what i'm going to do!!
Then I just break down and cry... Yes..! It because i don't know what i need to do.
I thought there's have a few months more but how???
-Jocel?? Come back to me... please...
To be Continue...
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