ByAlexander Koch, writer at

They did it. It's finally happening. By "finally" I mean executing what I knew was inevitable. Disney is making another Indiana Jones movie. It was announced today that Paramonut and Disney are moving forward with a sequel to the ho-hum Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and yes, this is a bad thing.

Pretty soon this is the Indy we'll end up with.
Pretty soon this is the Indy we'll end up with.

Back in ancient history, 2013 to be exact, Disney purchased Lucasfilim for a hefty sum of money. Everyone was so enamored with the idea of new Star Wars properties with a competant person behind the helm (Kathleen Kennedy) that people overlooked the fact that Lucasfilm doesn't include only a galaxy far, far away. The Indy franchise (which to me is more associated with Spielberg than Lucas in my opinion) got lost in the shuffle.

There was quesion though, once Disney acquired the rights, as to whether they would go the route of straight sequel or reboot. Rumors of the reboot were fueled when there was some speculation that Chris Pratt would be donning the fedora and leather jacket. As if Chris Pratt needs another franchise to make spectacular. If I had to chose, yeah, I think Pratt would make a good Indy. But there isn't another Indy. There is Harrison Ford, and then some actor doing a shitty Harrison Ford impression while trying to act like Indy. It's bad enough that I have to cope with who they'll cast as a young Han Solo, I don't need some pretender telling me how much he hates snakes. But according to the news today both Spielberg and Ford are on board which, like Chris Pratt, if I have to have someone do it it might as well be the them. So we have Spielberg, Kennedy, and Ford on board. I can't help but think in the case of Ford and Spielberg that Disney planned to make another Indy with or without them. Rather than watch the franchise sink any lower in the minds of the fans, the two jumped on board.

Apologies to Mr. Presley and gophers everywhere.
Apologies to Mr. Presley and gophers everywhere.

Of course there had been a hint of a sequel at the end of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Well, not a hint as much as a giant boulder bashed into our heads) when Mutt picks up the famous fedora. Indy snatches it and says something along the lines of, "Maybe next time." I wish I was more accurate, but I seem to have misplaced the Blu-Ray of the movie that I never purchased. Bitterness aside, my point here is that there were plans for a sequel before Disney's acquisition. Crystal Skull made plenty of money for the studio, over $700 million, and unfortunately that seems to be reason enough to warrant a sequel. But the movie barely registered for me on the level the original trilogy did. I am likely preaching to the converted here so I will be brief in my lament about the irreparable damage to my childhood. The final film in the trilogy, The Last Crusade, had Indy and his cohorts riding off into the sunset. RIDING OFF INTO THE SUNSET. That ending screams finality! It was done! It was glorious! But no, the sun rose once again on a gopher burrowing out of the Paramount logo to the dulcet tones of Elvis Presley's "Hound Dog." This movie is where we movie lovers gained the term "Nuke the Fridge."

In the word's of Cormac McCarthy, "You can't stop what's comin." In that respect, I'll do what I always do: Expect the worst and hope for the best.


Do we need more Indy?


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