I have watched enough horror films to know that there is one thing they are never short on, hot women. As much as I love the ladies, this list isn’t about them. This list is about those super sexy dudes that drive you wild, but don’t quite get the recognition they deserve. Sure fellas, you may not have awesome titties to make you automatically as sexy as I am (by default), but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your physique as well. So I bring to you, 10 of my favorite hotties of horror.
Ladies, this one’s for you.
10) Bruce Campbell
Favorite Role: Ash Williams, Army of Darkness
I decided to kick this list off with one of horror’s most classic hotties! Yes! none other than the sexy Ash himself. The third installment of Sam Raimi’s ‘Evil Dead’ trilogy was far more comedic than the first two, so Ash gets points automatically for making me laugh. Ash may be have been bordering on the verge of insanity most the film but could you blame the f*cking guy?! He was just thrown back into the dark ages by those pesky Kandarian demons ( or ‘Deadites’). None the less, good ol’ Ash maintains his sense of humor, and his playboy ways with the locals. All I can say is I would gladly give his ‘boom stick,’ a shot.
9) Justin Long
Favorite Role: Wallace Bryton, Tusk
Now If you have ever had the pleasure (or displeasure if you are a little b*tch), to see Kevin Smith’s hilariously sick movie ‘Tusk’, you are probably wondering how Justin Long made it onto this list. Sure his character Wallace rocked a pretty gnarly 70’s porno mustache most the movie but that’s not enough to turn me off from this fast-talking boy wonder. His performance in this movie was one of the best I have seen him deliver, and one of the most memorable. One thing that I always notice about this dark haired, dark eyed stud is the confidence he exudes in every role and genre he takes on. Confidence is always sexy.
Favorite Role: Ethan Chandler, Penny Dreadful
This guy here has been one of my favorite horror heartthrobs since I was too young to know what a heartthrob even was. I chose Ethan Chandler of ‘Penny Dreadful’ as my favorite horror role of his because although Ethan Chandler is a true man’s man, he’s dark, tortured, mysterious, dirty and he certainly is tough. He is something else though, he’s tender, and he’s a romantic. Can I get an Amen, ladies?
7) Evan Peters
Favorite Role: Jimmy Darling, American Horror Story (season 4)
Evan Peters is always adorable. He really is, but to my disbelief when I first saw him as Lobster Boy, I may or may not have wet my panties. He was the bad boy us girls fawn over, but he was also the good guy, so he was super sexy and naughty, but you could totally have babies with him. And if you remember correctly ladies, those lobster claw-hands of his put him to no disadvantage. Even so, being a Maine girl, I know my way around lobster claws.
6) Sam Huntington
Favorite Role: Josh Levison, Being Human (US)
Rarely do I find myself attracted to the “dough eyed” pretty boy, but there are ALWAYS exceptions. Sam Huntington has always made me laugh, but it wasn’t until he starred as Josh in the american rendition of ‘Being Human’ that I realized just how much this boy really had it going on. He’s pouty, gentle, funny and sweet, but he’s also fierce, loyal, and tough. Not quite a bad boy, but he’s tough like one. He’s most definitely a girl’s knight in shining armor. A very sexy, very awkward knight in shining armor.
5) Mike Vogel
Favorite Role: Andy, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Please just get naked and stay there. You fine, FINE, piece of man meat. That is all.
4) Cory Knauf
Favorite Role: Cody, The Violent Kind
If you haven’t seen the Butcher Brothers movie, ‘The Violent Kind’ I recommend you watch it ASAP. Aside from having a mouth watering selection of amazingly sexy ladies cast throughout, it has enough man candy to put you into a diabetic shock. Which brings me to my #4 spot, Cory Knauf. He’s the kind of sexy that makes you feel like you are a teenage girl and he’s the older, cooler, boy next door, (a favorite type of mine). I would totally play ‘Gynecologist’ with Cory Knauf.
3) Landon Liboiron
Favorite Role: Peter Rumancek, Hemlock Grove
I loved ‘Hemlock Grove.’ I have heard a lot of mixed reviews about the series but rarely do I trust reviews anyhow. I loved the show, and even if it wasn’t as great as I thought, I was so utterly hypnotized by Landon Liboiron’s performance as Peter Rumancek that I never would have noticed. Peter Rumancek was an amazing representation of the modern day Romani people, (which obviously appeals to that gypsy heart of mine).From his messy long hair and piercing blue eyes to his fearless and primal nature, I could not get enough of Peter Rumancek. Although, I must confess, it could be that his character is so strongly reminiscent of my own love interest that he drives me so wild, down to his bright blue eyes. (Role Play? maybe…?)
2) Adam Green
Favorite Role: Self, Holliston
Where do I even start? How do I even start? Adam Green appeals to the die hard, lifelong, nerdy-ass, horror fan in me. He is goofy, quirky, awkward, hilarious, and so fucking cute it’s sickening. Oh Adam, it could be your laugh, it could be all the Newbury Comic shirts you wear, or most of all, it could be that you are a fellow New-Englander chasing your dreams in the horror industry. Recently I attended the Rock and Shock convention in Massachusetts, while there I had the divine privilege of attending a panel in which Adam Green was interviewing the one, the only, George (F*cking) Romero! The most exciting part about it (for me) was witnessing how much Adam Green was fan-girling out, even harder than myself. I love that he’s this horror hottie I can’t get enough of, but he’s grounded and he’s someone I can identify with as a fan. He’s hilarious, handsome, and weird. I dig it.
1) Joe Egender
Favorite Role:Vernon, The Violent Kind
Between his classic rockabilly look and the amount of passion and sincerity that come through in his performance , Joe Egender is my #1. Everytime I see this man on screen I SPLOOSH instantly, every time. That smile, those dark eyes, UGH, puts me into a trance. My only complaint is that he isn’t in my bed. He’s that certain kind of sexy that would make me throw my ethics out the window just for a chance to trace the outline of his body with my tongue, (tastefully, of course). That being said I am going to share a fun little fact, Joe Egender is my one ‘freebie.’ So on that note, wanna get naked and weird, Joe?
Yummy or what?