After hearing that Capcom are releasing yet another Resident Evil branded cologne, I couldn't help but stop and think "why?"
Over the decades of gaming being one of entertainment's greatest weapons, there have been numerous strange video game tie-in merchandise released to the surprise and disdain of the masses, not too far removed from the aforementioned.
So come with me now as I have a look at 8 of the most special cases of "why?":
1. Godfather 2's Brass Knuckles
As bad promotional ideas go, this has to be one of the funniest. The game itself was released to middling reviews, so some genius marketing exec over at EA towers decided that shipping a very illegal weapon with copies of the game would be a coup. Fortunately the fully operational brass knuckles were eventually recalled across the country.
2. Mass Effect Full Zip Hooded Top
Obviously when Commander Shepherd isn't swanning around the galaxy, he or she is usually found dressing up like some kind of space gimp, and freaking people out in orbital alleyways. Or so this full-zip hoodie would have you believe.
3. Hot Wheels Computer
Not as much as video game tie-in as something you can play games on, Patriot's Hot Wheels branded computer was a clustercuss of a failure back in the late 90s, and to be honest it's not hard to see why. Despite the retina-numbing color scheme, the computers were actually outrageously flawed; faulty power sources and non-functioning steering wheels come to mind.
Patriot eventually went bankrupt after over 3000 units of the $599 machine were failed to be delivered to the unlucky few that attempted to pick them up.
4. Wu-Tang Controller
The 90s certainly were a time for misusing plastic. In 1999, iconic hip-hop heroes Wu-Tang Clan were lucky enough to get their very own PS1 game. Titled Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style (or Taste The Pain outside of the US), its special edition came with this black and yellow peripheral monstrosity. Enough for your friends to cry 'Tearz' of laughter over? I'd say so.
5. Mountain Dew Scented NES Controller Soap
I think this speaks for itself really.
6. Super Mario Bros. Movie Coloring Book
Again a bit of a cheeky inclusion, but containing some of the most awkward scenes from the hella awkward video game movie in the black and white style of coloring books was, possibly, only a good idea on paper (get it?). I mean, look at this:
7. Halo 3 Special Edition Xbox 360 Controller
Special edition controllers are ten a penny, so ten a penny one has already appeared on this list! But this special edition Halo 3 controller is even more special than the Wu's, because it is utterly hideous. Like a mix of random colored putty you'd usually find stuck to a kindergarten wall, the garish color scheme attacks the eyes in a way not too dissimilar from being riddled by Type-33 Needler spikes.
8. Dead Island: Riptide Torso Boxset
Never forget. But how can you forget this horribly misguided attempt at marketing. It was original, that's for sure, but surely having the dismembered torso of a buxom lady sitting proudly on a shelf would be enough deterrent for the vast majority of ladies IRl. Actually, nearly all humans to be honest.