All this hooplah about some movie called Spider-Man: Homecoming, and this Spider-Guy who was supposed to be starring in it, well, got me thinking.
With every superhero, there have been epic, awesome moments, and with those come periodic epically awesome fails. How does it go? With great success, comes great fails?
You know what I speak of. Times like when Superman and Batman cried after alien tentacles get it on with each other...and died. That time Hulk masterrrrrr...ed a supervillain. And then that time Tony Stark's armor got struck by lightning, fell in love with him, and then died to save him, and... yeah. And of course the time #SpiderMan got butt-punched:
Let's look at some of the WTF moments in the life of Spider-Man, shall we? He's set to fly around with Iron Man himself very soon in #SpiderManHomecoming, so let's just give him a little bit more attention!
1. Spider-Man vs. The Spot
I was strolling through some of the wacky villains Spidey has faced in his life, and this one just kind of... stood out. Think 101 Dalmatians meets Portal. When The Spot was born through some alternate dimension, sticky black hole crap in a lab, he introduced himself to Spider-Man as The Spot, and Spidey fell over laughing; that's how funny this guy looks. He ended up getting beaten by Spider-Man, because apparently he can throw his spots as weapons, but threw too many and lost his fighting edge.
I'll end this one with a description of The Spot from his Wiki page, that apparently has been edited to remove said description, thank goodness. The dude has the power to “enter himself.” Alrighty then!
2. Spider-Man and The Bombastic Bag Man Costume
After one of the main times #PeterParker is able to get rid of the #Venom symbiote suit, he's, well, a little hard up for a costume. Mary Jane wasn't handy to sew him one, Tony Stark was busy elsewhere, so what did Peter do? He happens to find a spare Fantastic Four suit just lying around, puts that puppy on, and uses none other than a brown paper bag for his head. With eyes cut in it, of course.
Because it would just be CRAZY to not do that.
3. Spider-Man Digs Up Gwen Stacy
Before we dive into that dark-ass WTF moment of the Sins Past comic story arc, let's talk about why Spider-Man dug it. When you hear the words Grey Goblin, you tend to think, whoa, cool! A new Goblin! But that Goblin is the product of Gwen and Norman doing... um... this-
...and having twins, one of whom becomes the Grey Goblin. They think Peter is their daddy, thanks to Norman lying to them (if I've lost you, it's okay... I've lost myself at this point). They attack Spidey, so he goes to Gwen's grave to dig up some DNA to prove the twins are hers.
4. Peter Porker And Spider-Monkey
Apparently, someone, somewhere, some time, thought a Spider-Pig and Spider-Monkey should happen. A spider was bitten by a radioactive pig (you read that right), and a monkey with super-duper spider powers joins other Ape-like #Marvel Heroes to take down baddies:
I'm not sure what to say. They were actually pretty popular storylines, too. Oh, and the Spider-Pig? Hulk-Bunny fought alongside him too. Thought you should know that.
And last but not least, the most unnecessary addition to Spider-Man's arsenal:
5. Spider-Man And His Spider-Mobile
Why on Earth-2978457229B would Spider-Man need a car? The dude can sling and swing all over the place, and get there in a fraction of the time. Think of the traffic he avoids by swinging and not driving! But no, Stan Lee and a toy company bigwig talked, and from that talk was born a funky dune buggy. It made a cool Christmas present for Jimmy, I suppose.
Even Spidey thought the whole idea was pretty ridiculous.
I'm sure there are way, WAY more WTF moments from Spider-Man's history, but five seemed like a pretty good number to stop with!
Which Spider-Man storyline was the weirdest to you? Do you think Spider-Man: Homecoming will have any weirdness in it?
Want more comics weirdness? Try these on for size!