ByLucy Morris, writer at
I write things. You can read those things that I write What a world we live in

Because we really need to stop setting the 'life-bar' so high.


Usually trend-phrases like 'Netflix and Chill' are usually just that; trends. People exhaust them until they're no longer relevant and, frankly, a bit irritating - and then the phrase dissipates and we never hear of it ever again. But this phrase, when uttered, is still followed by recognition of its relevance and (usually) a disturbing wink; even from your grandma, who pretends she doesn't really know what it means, but she does. Saucy minx.

The connotation we attach has three components: 1- You're with somebody. 2 - you're going to have "das intercourse" with that somebody, and 3 - you're not really watching whatever it is you have chosen.

Now, Netflix provides an array of entertainment, ranging from horrors and thrillers to campy comedies to romantic tragedies. Here's how it can broken down more simply, though: 50% of Netflix is so engaging that you'll be sweating, wide-eyed and disgusting...or you'll be sobbing maniacally, frantically mashing buttons to get to the next episode. If you even step foot in this realm of entertainment, male or female, you will fall down the rabbit hole so far that when they ask if you're still watching, you'll grunt, blink for the first time in hours and scream "OF COURSE I'M STILL WATCHING SHE'S JUST ABOUT TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH!!"........ Yeah, we've all been there.

The other 50% of Netflix is stuff like "Ru Paul's Drag Race" which is a guilty pleasure that you feast on in private, watching two seasons in one day, but never telling anybody. Because that show is crazy, but you're not crazy; no, you're just... being ironic. Yeah, we'll go with that.

Either way, you're going to be hooked and looking less than your best.

So, you are in no way going to be able to take your eyes from that screen for three to four days at a time; if you can't look at a person, how can you hope to engage in sexy times with them?

Well, saying that, there are plenty of couples who have been married for 48 years and can no longer bear to look at one another 'during', so maybe my assumption there was false. However, you are still going to be looking and feeling gross, gleefully drooling at the plot as it thickens; much like the Doritos grease on the underside of your chin, which may have been there for anything up to six days, but you'll get that later when you're hungry.

When we watch Netflix, the only thing that's 'chilling' is the colossal tub of ice cream lounging in your lap... so let's end this great misconception, together.


Latest from our Creators