ByCody Marmon, writer at Creators.co
I just do what I do, whatever that is, and then go on to the next thing. Like I said, whatever it is.
Cody Marmon

In the history of "NCIS" there have been many ideas about the show's characters and story-lines that some people constantly get screwed up. Well I'm hoping to help clear up some of the more obvious ones that have surfaced since the third season, and hopefully that'll put them to rest.

Shut up and listen, will ya?
Shut up and listen, will ya?

GIBBS AND ABBY(DISGUSTING!): For one thing, here's one rumor that's annoyed me for years, and I mean YEARS! Specifically, the stupid idea of Abby Sciuto and Gibbs being lovers. HOW could such a misleading and near-incestuous idea be so popular with so many people? Especially when you have to consider certain details when regarding the characters involved. Gibbs has always been attracted to redheads, the same way I've been always been attracted to brunettes. It's the same idea, and something like that just won't change. There's also the fact that, although Abby adores Gibbs and would do whatever he tells her to do(and we all know she would!) she is by far looked at by him first and foremost as a surrogate daughter, possibly as an adult replacement of his long-dead daughter Kelly. As it was established so long ago, Gibbs would never let anything happen to Abby, nor would he let anything happen to anyone on his team, while it's in his ability. It is true, I believe, that Gibbs loves Abby in a dad-daughter context, and she loves him without any fear of condition. And because she is as close to his daughter as he can have, Abby gets the rare privilege of being able to give the mighty Gibbs a hard time when she needs to. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN, MORTAL FANS! ABBY IS ONLY ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH HER BEHAVIOR BECAUSE SHE IS THE FAVORITE ON GIBBS' TEAM. YE HATH BE WARNED! But, back to the gross rumor; to even try to hint that this familial relationship between Gibbs and Abby goes into anything else would be irresponsible and just plain weird! That whole idea is nothing but tabloid trash, and not even worth considering. Shame on you!

You're grounded, Abs! Again...
You're grounded, Abs! Again...

ZIVA DAVID: Another one that's popular but equally unlikely is the idea of Ziva David returning to the show. Don't get me wrong, I would love just as much as anyone else to see her come back, if for no other reason than to kill off Ellie Bishop and then fade out after two more years on the show(and I'm all for that!) but sadly it's become obvious that it's just not going to happen. A lot of time has passed, and IF the show's writers had come up with some idea of re-introducing her into the show, they would have done it long before now. And one of the hottest rumors lately is the idea of Ziva showing up in DiNozzo's last episode as he leaves to run away with him is unfortunately just fan fantasy. I'm not against it, but I admit that personally I just don't see it happening. I am on the look-out, however, for anything new that Cote de Pablo's involved in. If I find anything, I'll write about it. :)

Ziva David: One of the most beloved characters!
Ziva David: One of the most beloved characters!

ANTHONY DINOZZO: Speaking of DiNozzo, there are ideas that he's giving up NCIS to run off with Jeanne Benoit, and that's supposed to be his big exit from the show. Of course, this is still a rumor and hasn't been confirmed yet. It would make sense, that after his devastating revelation between his being revealed as just an agent using Jeanne to get close to "The Frog" ( I have NO idea HOW to spell the dude's name, ok?) the two of them would never be able to reconcile in the near future. But now, after all this time(not to mention a somewhat rather subliminal, suppressed "romance" with Ziva) , it would be easy to see Tony being able to reconcile with Jeanne and choosing to leave with her rather than stay with NCIS. Particularly after she had returned to NCIS when Tony had to help her track down and rescue a group of doctors. Can you say uncomfortable? You can't tell me there weren't certain things that were remembered between them in those episodes. Unfortunately, this is both speculation and rumor, so don't quote me yet. Besides, Michael Weatherly already has another tv show to star in, so he's good to go. (Traitor! I hope Ziva spites you!)

Anthony DiNozzo: Hitting the road.
Anthony DiNozzo: Hitting the road.

TIM MCGEE aka "Thom E. Gemcity": He is the dreaded Elf Lord of NCIS (hahaha! Ok, sorry, I can't even type that with a straight face!) and the only federal agent who was supposedly dating a Level 5 sorceress. He is also the agent of a thousand nicknames, courtesy of Tony DiNozzo through the years. Something that really made me wonder was back when McGee went through some serious weight loss, somewhere in Season 8 or 9, I think.-? But anyway, that was scary. I was getting convinced that at some point it was going to be on the news that he had AIDS or had committed suicide or something, because really, the guy just looked terrible for a while. And when you get as used to a tv show's characters the way so people have and can, you really notice a lot of things about them, if not everything about them. Just saying. But for whatever reason, no one seemed to really hear anything about what's-his-name (Ok just kidding! Sean Murray.) in the news, so there didn't seem to be anything going on health-related. But McGee's sudden and rather drastic weight loss was something you couldn't help but notice. The poor guy looked like a skeleton for the majority of the season. I was really glad that he bulked up when he did; after all, McGee is a fan favorite among computer geeks, and tv fans in general.

Don't laugh! I met a Level 5 Sorceress!! Awesome!
Don't laugh! I met a Level 5 Sorceress!! Awesome!

Note: It WAS stated online in 2011 (on www.brusimm.com, Feb.26th, '11 ) that Sean Murray was never sick, although he was on a diet. As part of his diet he quit drinking to help lose weight. Obviously it had more of an effect than was expected. (Way to go, "Elf Lord") And for a more serious pic of Obi Wan McProbie...

"Previously, on Dead Geeks Walking..."
"Previously, on Dead Geeks Walking..."

DIRECTOR LEON VANCE: One of the more interesting character replacement choices was Rocky Carroll as Director Leon Vance, who took over the NCIS agency immediately after Jenny Shepard was killed in Season 5, after her long and fatal obsession with Le Grenouille. (OK, I have NO idea how to spell the friggin' name, so gimme a break, ok? The only thing I CAN spell in French is fries or Pepe LePew) All I know is that what has become referred to as "The Jeanne Benoit Episodes"(and that started with Jenny still being in charge) which spanned Seasons 4 and 5 was a great annoyance to many fans, myself absolutely included. I never did like Scottie Thompson, and I just wanted to reach through the tv screen and rip her stupid frigging head off! But of course, I digress. And I know, what does any of this have to do with Vance?

A dead Marine? What do you want me to do about it?!
A dead Marine? What do you want me to do about it?!

It has NOTHING to do with Vance, but when he first came onto the show it was a dramatic change of pace to go from one boss to another, new boss. And yeah, I remember not being so sure about him myself, especially when he split up The NCIS Team, that crime-fighting team of teams that has become second to none, except maybe Clark Kent and Lois Lane, or Bruce Wayne and Alfred. (Awww, come on now, everybody knows somebody was stitching up Batman after his nightly bad-guy beat-down patrols! You damn well knew that!) BUT again, with new guy Vance coming into Gibbs' Bat-cave, there were a lot of wonders about whether or not he would remain on the show. But after a couple of seasons he did seem to fit in better than when he showed up, with his six-guns loaded and ready to draw. Oh, and don't forget his trademark toothpick. I have to give it to Vance, he's become a solid character over the years and I like him. Vance also offers something to the show that we don't always see a lot of; someone else who's been in the field as an agent before NCIS, and this offers another side to him. Although Gibbs wasn't an NCIS agent previously, he was a United States Marine, and he understands what needs to happen to be able to do his job. It's that kind of discipline that helped shape him as an investigator as well as a person. And this possibly offers Vance an insight into Gibbs and the way he works. The brief "buddy episodes" pairing him Vance and Gibbs were good, but they don't need to do that too often. I hope he doesn't get booted off the show anytime soon; it would be nice to see a director of NCIS be able to stick around till the end of the series. (Which might be in two years, who knows? Just speculating here.)

JIMMY PALMER AKA "THE ANATOMY GREMLIN": One of the more sidelined characters in television history might actually be Jimmy Palmer, Ducky Mallard's side-kick in social dismemberment. Seasons 12 and 13 were more than unusual seasons for NCIS, in which I mean the writing could have been better, the characters were more scattered as characters and not seeming to really know who they were anymore or what they were doing.

With the building tension between Gibbs and DiNozzo, Palmer actually became a kind of supporter in critical spots; in this odd way he was kind of a "jelling" element. But Palmer, or Brian Dietzen in real life, also lost a lot of weight drastically a few seasons ago. Except that, unlike McGee, he looked like a skeleton wearing glasses. However, some legitimate information does suggest that Dietzen is a mild diabetic, and does use insulin to help regulate his diabetes. Fortunately Palmer has become a solid character, although a loose rumor seems to wonder if the writers of the show are grooming Palmer to become a full-fledged NCIS agent. But I've been doing a lot of digging on various CBS sites, and there is absolutely NO mention of anyone trying to make Jimmy a member of Gibbs' team in the future. If this were King Arthur's Camelot, Palmer would be a meager serf(or servant, for those who don't know their historical terms.) But it is possible that there may be an episode in which Palmer is on his own without the other members of the team. That would be funny, because I would swear they already did that, only the episode included Ducky. Somewhere between Season 11 and 12, wasn't it? Hmmm.

DR. DONALD MALLARD aka "DUCKY": The only character on tv who answers to the name "Ducky" who works for a federal agency. It's almost arguable that Ducky may be the only person beside Abby and Vance who can give Gibbs a hard time and get away with it. The only thing is Ducky may actually be Gibbs' best friend as well as his colleague. Gibbs and Ducky have actually worked together as agents, so Duck has some dirt on Gibbs from his past time in the field.

There have been rumors that David McCallum, who plays Ducky, is thinking of retiring from the show. But I had already expressed in my previous article that he had signed on for another year, reading from another article online that McCallum said that he would be happy to play Ducky for another year, as long as his health holds up. But there is the undeniable truth right in front of you: David McCallum is 82, so how well his health holds up is the real question for him and for us. If anything were to happen to Ducky, there would be no replacing him. Mourning him, absolutely, but no real replacing him. Which brings us to the last rumor that seems to persist...

Dr. CYRIL TAFT: Played by old tv and movie favorite Jon Cryer, Taft joins NCIS as a series irregular, a term I use deliberately for now. Although he seems to be part of an on-going story-line to help Gibbs recuperate from being shot and being almost blown up (Again!) you sort of wonder if Taft isn't being written in as a permanent character for the show, and a possible replacement for Ducky when his character retires. Yes, I said it! It's a rumor that's popular, even if not in CBS circles, but a lot of people are saying it and believing it. I don't mind Taft being on the show as a regular if that happens, but it would be sad if he were to replace the world-weary Ducky.

Ellie Bishop is said to be testing the waters after her divorce from Jake, and unfortunately we're going to have to go through that garbage along with everyone else who's wanting to enjoy more of a cop show instead of the "Ellie Bishop Bitch and Moan Session Hour". (I want my Ziva back!)

In the next articles I'll be writing more about Abby and Ziva, and their influences on the show and their fans. I'll also write an introspective on Michael Weatherly and where he's going after NCIS, as well as articles on NCIS:New Orleans. I'm already looking forward to it. :)

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