Before I start, I feel I should point out that I loved Batman v Superman. I went to see it in a group of 12 and was, in fact, the only one to score it a 12/10 immediately afterwards. To me, this was something close to comic book movie perfection.
And yet, clearly it wasn't perfect. There were a few (several hundred) questions about the plot fired at me by friends more cynical than myself that I truthfully couldn't answer. So, with that in mind, I present seven head-scratchers, WTF moments, and good old-fashioned plot holes from Dawn Of Justice.
1. Where was General Zod's body, actually?
Remember that moment early on when Lex attempts to persuade Senator Finch to allow him to import the Kryptonite discovered in the Indian Ocean? His argument is that Kryptonite can cut through Kryptonian cells, which he demonstrates by literally showing footage of Zod's corpse being mutilated by Kryptonite...
...which makes no sense for several reasons, not least of all because Lex later asks a government agent for access to the Krypton ship and permission to take Zod's body for experiments. Meaning he didn't already have Zod's body. Meaning that he couldn't have conducted those experiments. Especially because he didn't have the Kryptonite at that moment either. I'm as confused as the writers.
2. Where was Diana flying to?
Diana Prince is on a Turkish Airlines flight to some unknown destination, but why? If she's worried about her cover being blown, why would she board a plane at a public airport? We know that Luthor somehow has access to random CCTV footage taken at a cash machine. She knows this, too. You'd think she might, say, hop on a helicopter from a private helipad instead. And you know that that's easy enough to do, because Lois Lane does it, and she's just a journalist!
Answer: she boards that flight because Turkish Airlines is cash-rich and gave lots of money to Warner Bros. for a pimp promo slot. But in fact, the flight attendant is too incompetent to stop a passenger leaving the plane once it's been boarded. Might make you think twice about flying Turkish Airlines.
3. Why are they all such terrible spies?
Seriously. Bruce Wayne takes a detour away from the main event area at Lex Luthor's party to attempt to infiltrate his computer system, but he doesn't even bother creating a decoy. Something to grant a few moments of distraction. Anything. He could have tipped security off about a vandal in the Northern Tower. Is there even a Northern Tower? It's Lex Luthor, so probably.
Instead, he brazenly enters an access-restricted area and when caught, gives a terrible excuse about looking for the bathroom. Men like Bruce Wayne never need the bathroom. And, even after catching him, Mercy Graves, the world's least efficient security personnel, is then immediately distracted and leaves Bruce exactly where he is. Why wasn't that corridor protected by a thumbprint scanner? All supervillains use thumbprint scanners.
4. Why did Perry White give Lois Lane that chopper?
There are quite a stunning number of instances in Batman v Superman that clearly demonstrate that Zack Snyder has never set foot inside the HQ of a newspaper, but the one that really takes the biscuit is the moment when Perry White decides to give star reporter Lois Lane (that's sarcasm, BTW — literally none of her self-assigned missions yield any results whatsoever) a helicopter.
Perry White does not work at the CIA. Perry White does not work for the NYPD. Perry White sits behind a desk at the Daily Planet and orders Clark Kent to report on sports instead of actual news stories about the Bat vigilante. That chopper, wherever it came from, was not his to give away. If anything, this movie made me really, really want to work for the Daily Planet. The evening commute would be a dream.
5. How did Lex override the Kryptonian ship's security so easily?
I think this one's my favorite.
When Lex enters the Kryptonian ship that he bribed from a government official with a jar of sweets, the Krypton robot guarding the ship, voiced by Carla Gugino, states that Luthor isn't authorized to be there, or conduct his experiment with Zod. How does Lex get around this? He literally just tells her he's going to do it anyway, to which she's like "cool bro, continue!" It's amazing.
6. Why does Batfleck use the Batmobile to steal the Kryptonite?
Don't get me wrong, the Batmobile chase is one of the most thrilling sequences in this movie. That vehicle is badass. However the whole chase is completely gratuitous when you consider that Bruce already had a tracking device fixed to the truck containing the Kryptonite.
By giving chase, he gets to drive a five-ton armored combat machine through Gotham like the rage-fueled maniac he is, which was probably satisfying, but he also draws attention to himself and risks not getting his hands on the Kryptonite at all. If he'd just waited, he could have stealthily retrieved the green rock from its eventual destination. Silly Bruce.
7. How would Lex have controlled Doomsday if he'd won?
He who dares wins, so the saying goes, but Lex is taking a massive gamble when he unleashes Doomsday. Presumably, his goal is for the creature to kill Superman, but what did he think would happen then? Simple answer: there would be a (possibly unkillable) Kryptonian mutant on the rampage in Metropolis. And he didn't even have the Kryptonite necessary to defend himself from it. For reasons still unknown, this guy really wants Superman dead.
8. Why didn't Wonder Woman throw the Kryptonite spear?
Superman's decision to fly at Doomsday with that Kryptonite-laced spear is the ultimate act of sacrifice. It proved that the world was wrong about him. I get it. That said — why doesn't Wonder Woman do it instead? We've just seen her doing a pretty good job of keeping Doomsday at bay with her lasso. Kryptonite is not deadly to her. She could have plunged it into the beast's heart while Superman and Batman had a nice little bonding chat about both being children of Martha.
That this fact did not at any point occur to Superman shouldn't be a surprise — he's not the sharpest spear in the Kryptonian arsenal — but Batman allegedly possesses a genius IQ, and he just described the Man of Steel as his friend five minutes earlier. Wonder Woman was probably just distracted by her super-catchy theme music. The smartest person in this movie, actually, is Alfred, so of course he's stuck at home restocking that wine cellar.
In truth, each of these incredible, logic-defying moments only enhanced my love for Batman v Superman — and my belief that I should be the one writing the sequel.