ByNerdTranslation, writer at Creators.co
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NerdTranslation

OH... MY... GOD... Was the season 2 finale not the most crazy, dark, surprising, fan pleasing, series changing episode of Star Wars Rebels you've ever seen?!

So many things happened in just 1 hour of my life! If you haven't seen it then go watch it, like, RIGHT NOW! I can't even get over all of the fallout that must be coming in season 3. We need to talk about this. SPOILERS AHEAD

What Happened:

The episode started out with Rex, rightfully asking Ahsoka, why the heck she's going to the forbidden planet without any back up besides a brand new Jedi and a lightly trained padawan. Rex, you're worried for Ahsoka, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO?! YOU'RE A GROWN MAN! Although you are old, did Hera take your keys? Let's just decide that Rex went against his better judgement and stayed behind because Hera took his keys away.

Anyways, our Jedi field trippers landed on the surface of Malachore which is basically a bunch of ominous black pillars jetting out of the barren grey landscape. Ahsoka is understandably cautious. Ezra however, is running around touching things like Patrick Star at the jelly fishing convention.

Ezra touches the big ominous pillar and our heroes fall down to the second layer of planet. They discover several Jedi in need of moisturizer and Ezra finds a random cross guard light saber.

Ezra and Kanan have a discussion about riddles that ends with Ezra saying "Why's Kanan such a-", and then a flippy new inquisitor jumps in and cuts him off! I wanted to hear that insult you- *gets stabbed by inquisitor*

Anyways they fight for like two seconds before random missiles come out of no-where and Ezra falls down to the third layer. Malachores are like onions, they have layers.

Kanan and Ahsoka leave Ezra and chase after the inquisitor until he spins his saber AND FLIES AWAY! Since when is that a thing?! We've been chasing inquisitors for like 20 episode and we're just now learning that they can FLY??? What???

Meanwhile, in the basement, Ezra meets an old man who is clearly Darth Maul, but I'm not supposed to have figured that out yet, so he met a mysterious old man. Ezra's all "stranger danger!". Then Darth Maul, oops, I mean, the mysterious guy was like "I'm just a poor old man that got trapped here. I can help you." Then Ezra suddenly trusts him and decides to follow him back to his black van, oops, I mean the Sith Temple.

So Kanan and Ahsoka chase helicopter man through the darkness while Ezra and mystery man head to the temple. Chopper finds the inquisitors ship, gets inside, and single-handedly takes down the inquisitor. Is it just me, or could the rebellion have consisted of just Chopper and Leia? Just sayin', Chopper stopped an inquisitor while two jedi couldn't.

Ezra and mystery man enter the temple and mystery man starts talking about the rule of two and other such sithy things. Ezra's like "why do you know all this bull sith?" and mystery man says to defeat the sith you have to become one. Ezra obviously knows that is wrong, but then he's like "Eh, screw it, I'm gonna end up being Snoke anyways. Might as well get a head start on the crazy."

Then they start opening doors. They literally open like 8 doors. Mystery man gives a reason for there being like 8 doors to this place, but we know it's just because sith are jerks, even to each other. So after 20 seconds of doors, mystery man finally "reveals" that he is actually... DARTH MAUL! And we all went "Yeah, duh, we aren't blind."

After we find out that the inquisitor is here to kill Maul, we see Ezra and Maul pass the final door. Seriously, way too many doors. Anyways, past the doors they find a holocron. Maul must think Ezra is the dumbest creature to ever walk the earth because he's surprised that Ezra knows basic Jedi stuff. I mean, holocrons are the thumb drives of Star Wars. Even Ezra knows how a thumb drive works.

So, they do the whole force throw trick and Ezra grabs the holocron. Is it just me or was that scene basically the beginning of Raiders? I was half expecting a big rock to come rolling towards them. Instead, a portal to heaven opened up above Ezra and the holocron pedestal started raising up towards it. Maul tells Ezra to trust him and jump. Ezra jumps (like an idiot. Who trusts somebody they met like ten minutes ago? Idiots, that's who.) and it looks like Maul's going to keep the holocron and let Ezra fall to his doom. That would be completely in character for him. But he saves Ezra, and they leave the chamber of death. Meanwhile, the two main inquisitors show up outside to save their friend from Kanan and Ahsoka. They can fly now too. Apparently Disney is setting up a crossover called Tinker Bell and the Sith Fairies. Watch out for the straight to DVD release later this year!

Kanan and Ahsoka fight off the inquisitors until Ezra and Maul show up. Maul whips out his saber and basically owns all of the inquisitors. Once they know they're out matched, the inquisitors high tail it out of there. Maul and Ezra join Kanan and Ahsoka and they head for the top of the temple. Maul says, at the top, they can unlock the secrets of the holocron. I get that Ezra is a stupid kid and thus trusts Maul, but why do Kanan and Ahsoka go along with this? They know what he's done, don't they? I don't understand these bad decisions!

They all head to the base of the temple where Maul calls the elevator. To me this really seemed like a place that would have stairs, but Maul's old, so the sith must have made handicap accommodations. You've got to applaud the sith's architectural convenience. The elevator's little capacity card says two, so Maul wants to ride up with Ezra. But Kanan finally steps in and does some actual legitimate parenting.

So Kanan and Ezra head up the side of the temple while Maul and Ahsoka awkwardly wait for the next elevator.

Kanan and Ezra reach the top when the new inquisitor flies in. He knocks out Kanan and throws Ezra to the edge of the temple. Ezra holds on with one hand while the inquisitor reveals YET ANOTHER thing his light saber does that I was previously unaware of, or was I? I can't keep track of all these swiss-army light-sabers. Anyways, his light-saber turns into a saw which he is going to use to cut Ezra's fingers off? There's those Clone Wars style stakes I've been waiting for. Before the inquisitor goes all Marvel Phase 2 on Ezra, Maul comes up and scares him off. Then more elevators. When did I start watching Star Wars: Doors and Elevators?

This time Maul convinces Kanan to let Ezra ride up with him. After they leave, Ahsoka tries to make Kanan feel better about his bad parenting.

On the next level, all three inquisitors return to battle. The Sarah Michelle Geller one chases after Ezra and Maul while Kanan and Ahsoka fight the others. I hope Freddy Prinze Jr. had fun working with his wife this year because Maul doesn't fight battles that end in anything but death. Apparently Ezra is fine with bloody murder because seconds after Maul kills the inquisitor, Ezra joins him and they run off to save Ahsoka and Kanan. Maul realizes more imperials are on the way, so he sends Ezra in to unlock the holocron while he helps Ahsoka and Kanan. Maul jumps down fairly easily, and kills the fatter greener inquisitor, which just leaves the new one. Kanan slashes the new guy's lightsaber. When he turns and flees (probably not from Ahsoka or Kanan. I have a feeling he wasn't in the mood to get brutally murdered by the unkillable sith lord.) he only get's about ten feet away from the temple before his saber breaks apart and he falls to his doom.

After all of that, I guess Maul is in a slashy, killy mood, because he turns and light-sabers Kanan in the face, MAKING HIM BLIND!

Meanwhile, Ezra activates the holocron which sounds just like Asajj Ventress. In fact I'm calling it Ventress from now on. Ventress asks Ezra who he wants her to kill, because she is actually a weapon.

Kanan takes Maul's attention away from Ahsoka, so she can go tell Ezra to quit playing with Ventress. She takes off and Kanan uses the force to guide him, so he can throw Maul off of the temple. Kanan calls for Chopper to pick them up but apparently more imps have shown up.

Ezra tries to refuse Ventress' power, so she suggests that the person approaching will use it. Ezra believes that Maul is coming, so he runs to the temple edge to find DARTH VADER!

Vader and Ezra fight for a minute, but Ezra is obviously outmatched. Fortunately, Ahsoka was pretty much destined to face this guy eventually. Vader even says it was for-told that they would meet and fight there that day. He offers to show her mercy if she gives up other Jedi. Ahsoka refuses and says her master could never become this. Then Vader brings back that whole, "I killed Aniken when I became Vader" thing and then he tells her that revenge isn't the way of the Jedi. She responds "I'm no Jedi" and then a million fan boy voices rang out at once.

Ahsoka and Vader begin fighting. Ezra doesn't want Vader to use the holocron so he attempts to remove it before finding out that it takes two people. Kanan walks in being guided by Chopper, and they work together to remove the holocron. After it's removed the temple begins to collapse. Kanan and Ezra run towards Chopper and the ship, until Vader uses the force to try and take the holocron from Ezra. Before he can take it, Ahsoka lunges at him, and strikes his mask. When he looks up, he yells her name. His voice is now a mix of James Earl Jones and Matt Lanter. Ahsoka is rightfully distressed. Now she knows for sure that HER FORMER MASTER IS THE WORST VILLAIN IN THE GALAXY!

Ahsoka refuses to leave Darth-iken Sky-Vader and the temple closes. Apparently those eyebrows mean Anakin's hair grew back, but I guess he'll lose it again before Luke takes his helmet off in Jedi. Anakin goes bald twice. That's just sad. Not sad enough to excuse mass murder and genocide, but still sad.

Kanan, Ezra, and Chopper fly away from the temple which explodes with a huge bubble of force lightning. They return to Chopper Base and show me this:

As if I wasn't sad enough that my childhood just blew up in a temple, I had to see poor Rex as he realizes his friend is dead. Then my heart broke, and I died too. Yes, I died. But then I realized that the next scene was this:

Maul is alive and stole a tie fighter. Where's he going? What will he do? Season 3, people. What an ending! Oh wait! Then they returned my hopes and dreams by showing me this:

Yes Vader climbed to the surface and then it panned down to a figure in the temple doorway. IS THAT AHSOKA?! DID SHE SURVIVE?! Season 3, people. Then they showed the actual final scene in the ghost which ended with this:

SNOKE IS BORN! I JUST KNOW IT!

Now we just have to wait 6-8 months for all of our questions to be answered. Doesn't that sound lovely?! (He said sarcastically)

What was your favorite part of the Rebels Season 2 Finale? Tell us in the comments!

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