ByRand Benjamin Einfeldt, writer at Creators.co
I'm a Fan Theorist. I give ridiculous predictions for movies and TV shows. I'd like to call them "Ridictable Theories"!
Rand Benjamin Einfeldt

Have you ever watched a movie on TV edited and just laughed at he words that were in place of the curse word? Well here are some funny and clever replacement curse that I know you and Captain America will enjoy! So Remember...

"And for gosh sakes! Watch your language!"
"And for gosh sakes! Watch your language!"

The Matrix

"J**** C***** is that thing real?"

(Edited)"Jeepers Creepers is that thing real?"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"How about I give you the finger, and I get my call."

(Edited)"How about I give you the flipper, and I get my call."

Apparently saying "the finger" is more offensive than saying "the flipper".

The Usual Suspects

"Hand me the keys you f***ing c***sucker!"

"Hand me the keys you fairy godmother!"

The Big Lebowski

"See what happens when you f*** a stranger in the a**!"

(Edited)"See what happens when you find a stranger in the alps!"

Die Hard

"Yippee-ki-yay mother F***er!"

(Edited)"Yippee-ki-yay Mr. Falcon!"

(Edited)"Yippee-ki-yay melon farmer!"

Who's Mr. Falcon?

Pineapple Express

"Mother f***er"

(Edited)"Mother Lover!"

"You're such an a**hole!"

(Edited)"You're such casserole!"

"Casserole"? I'm gonna start using that now.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

"Whoa!"
"Whoa!"

"Fag!"

(Edited)"Fool!"

"You killed Ted, you medieval d***weed!"

(Edited)"You killed Ted, you medieval bonehead!"

After seeing the edited version of this on TV, I couldn't help but laughed at it's usage.

Speed

"F*** you!"

(Edited)"Forget you!"

When I first heard this edited on television, I thought that he said "I'm gonna get you!"

Mr. Destiny

"Ba*****"

(Edited)"Dirtbag!"

Twins

"Hey ba*****! Tell us where mother is!"

(Edited)"Hey slimeball! Tell us where mother is!"

Pulp Fiction

"You're a smart mother f***er that's right."

(Edited)"You're a smart little sucker that's right."

"My eyes are wide f***ing open."

(Edited)"My eyes are wide focused open."

Snakes on a Plane

"I've had it with these mother f***ing snakes on this mother f***ing plane!"

(Edited)"I've had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!"

Mr. Deeds

"Bu-bu-bull s***!"

(Edited)"Bu-bu-bull spit!"
"You used foul language in front of a lady?"
"You used foul language in front of a lady?"

The Wedding Singer
"But it all was bull s***!
It was a g**d*** joke!
And when I think of you Linda,
I Hope you f***ing choke!"
"He must have turrets or something."
"He must have turrets or something."

"But it all was bull [inaudible guitar playing]!

It was a [inaudible guitar playing] joke!

And when I think of you Linda,

I Hope you [inaudible guitar playing] choke!"

What About Bob?

And he swears like one!
And he swears like one!

"It's turrets, dad. Turret syndrome?"

(Edited)"It's buddies disease. Buddies Disease?"

Happy Gilmore

"I hate that Bob Barker!"
"I hate that Bob Barker!"

"The price is wrong b****!"

(Edited)"The price is wrong Bobby!"

I personally think that these alternative curse words are "cussing good"! In fact they're better than being bleeped out. It creates creativity in how we can find better words in place of those unpleasant words.

Now just think what would happen if Deadpool used the replacement curse words for the movie to make it a PG-13 movie? I'd watch it!

Burn!
Burn!

Are there any that I have missed? Let me know in the comments below!

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