Six months — six freakin' months — we have to wait to see who bit the bat on AMC's The Walking Dead. For those who were expecting a resolution to who died in the finale of Season 6, I would give up now and find a nice book to read. For the rest of you, how about an angry Twitter rant?
Hopes were high when Lauren Cohan called it the hardest day on set ever, while Andrew Lincoln toyed with us saying that the finale would be one to watch:
"I felt sick to my stomach when I read the script... I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t get back to sleep."
GPS must not be a thing in the zombie apocalypse, because the finale episode, "Last Day on Earth," spun us in circles for a needlessly long time. Then we waited. 90 minutes of ads, poetic speeches and one large game of cat 'n mouse. Popcorn in hand, we were gripped to see whose brains would be splattered all over the screen. Bets were on Maggie, Carol, Daryl, or sticking to the source material and whacking Glenn. But we never got the answers we were craving — that's right, an ambiguous POV ending means it will be October before we found out who Negan was playing whack-a-mole with — do you feel a bit cheated yet?
It was a gripping finale (undoubtedly), but one that fell short in one department: No one knows who Negan hit with a baseball bat, not even the cast! Weak sauce TWD, weak sauce! We all expected someone to bite the dust and, to the show's credit, at least someone did — just not how us fans may have wanted.
Previously On AMC's 'The Walking Punk'd'
Season 6 is arguably one of the show's best. We had it all and moved from the sleepy Alexandria Safe Zone to a much larger world. We saw the Hilltop colony, we met Jesus and we said a few goodbyes, but did we say enough goodbyes?
If The Walking Dead was an episode of Friends, it would be called "The One Where Everyone Has Nine Lives"! Remember how angry you were at that mid-season finale moment of Glenn and the dumpster. I bet you thought that was it for the show messing with us. The internet was in uproar about how Robert Kirkman's show could trick us into mourning for Glenn; well, now it is time to dial up the anger, the finale Punk'd us.
Unfortunately, miraculous survival is becoming a bit of a plot point for the show. This season we didn't actually lose any of the big players from the cast as Glenn wasn't the only faux casualty. Carl took a bullet to the eye, a move that would kill most people off — but just like his comic book counterpart, the plucky young cowboy lives another day. Carol and Daryl both took bullets and limped on through to the end, and everyone survived the marauding wolf attack. In fact, the only genuine shock we had all season was seeing poor Dr. Denise take an arrow to the eye and Eugene chowing down on some Savior bratwurst.
But we can't be too mad I guess — a cliffhanger ending is nothing new to avid TV fans and we probably should have seen it coming — it sure got us talking. LOST's body in the coffin, Hannibal's "Red Dinner" episode and Arrow's gravestone all left us with WTF anxiety and we survived the agonizing waits, but has TWD pulled the wool over our eyes one too many times?
No doubt the finale was an epic swansong for someone, but it could have been done in half, if not one-tenth the time, and was the shock really worth the wait? Has The Walking Dead desensitized us and will we even care come October? We will spend the next six months speculating, spotting people on set and being bombarded by rumors about who will/won't be surviving that bloody climax? The savvy viewers are growing tired of the reams of internet articles clogging up our newsfeeds where everyone thinks they have THE answer. Just look at the year-long "Is Jon Snow dead?" saga from Game of Thrones — it got pretty boring pretty fast (and we still don't know 100%).
The only glimmer of hope from an otherwise dull landscape, and 90 minutes of my life I will never get back, was Morgan's transformation from Bruce Wayne "I don't kill" to a badass Rick Grimes-style killer. Morgan and Carol are off to the Kingdom and the TWD world is set to get even bigger come next season. At least they are safe for now — or are they?