ByDavid Caracciolo, writer at Creators.co
I write reviews/commentary on the latest news, films, and TV sprinkled with a healthy dose of pop culture references.
David Caracciolo

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is an assault on the senses, common sense being the worst hit. The leaps of logic here defy even Superman’s abilities. Billed as the greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. Sadly, the real fight is against a coma.

After enduring almost three hours of this mindless frivolity I left the cinema sore and weary, as if I’d just taken a beating myself. Donald Trump says he would “bring back a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding”. Has he seen this movie too?

The biggest problem, and there are many, is that it tries to, unsuccessfully, do too many things at once, like this sentence! So many things just happen for no apparent reason. I’m still unclear on what motivates these characters apart from stupidity.

The film aims to make you question what the world would be like if there really was a Superman. Instead it had me questioning my will to live. I don’t want to listen to people whine all day about superheroes. That’s what nerds are for!

And can someone please tell Henry Cavill that just because he’s playing the man of steel doesn’t mean he has to act like a man made of steel? Michael Shannon (Zod) delivers a more emotive performance and he’s playing a corpse!

In contrast, Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal of the villainous Lex Luther is completely over the top. The facial tics are perhaps an attempt to show a man on the verge of insanity. Because the haircut alone isn’t evidence enough.

Director, Zack Snyder crafts a world that is dark and joyless. Comedic moments are scarce and when they happen it’s truly a godsend. Do we really need further reminding that the world’s a messed up place when the Hulk Hogan sex tape already exists?

The subtitle for this film is Dawn of Justice but there is no justice in sight! If this is an indication on what we can expect from the next time these heroes come together to save the world then save your money instead.

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