ByNikodim Trashkov, writer at
Nikodim Trashkov

One thing that is invincible to war and violence. One thing that cannot be bullied into submission. One thing that cannot be destroyed. One thing, an idea. However an idea can be forgotten. It can be lost in the desert of the real. Ideas are the foundations of civilizations. What if? Can we? Should we? Ideas are the fabric of our culture, our art. Alas in the time that we are living now the idea of telling a story through moving images has been annihilated into nothing more than a lifeless bank account fulfilling machine. In 2000 a young lord and saviour, Christopher Nolan, descended from the sky and dropped a cinematic bomb under the name Memento catapulting him into fame and glory and allowing him to make some of the best blockbuster movies in all of recorded history. 15 years later after AMBI pictures acquired the rights to this cult classic, they want to remake it and the majority consensus is that it is an abdominal thing to do.

It is no secret that remakes are not a new tradition and that Hollywood has be capitalising on name and brand recognition to make a quick and fat wad of cash every time the earth makes one revolution around the sun. But lately it has reached a new low. There are 105 remakes and reboots in the works right now. That is ludicrous and quite frankly offensive. Audiences are getting sick and tired of this. That is why Robocop 2014 and Poltergeist 2015 where critical and financial failures. Hollywood is a business and having a remake every now and then so you have money to pay the bills is fine and if it is made with passion and some artistic merit by a director who cares is even better, but not this. Not a soulless cash grab that castrates it down to a PG-13 rating and emasculates it to reach as wide an audience as possible to maximise profit regardless whether or not it betters the film.

Hollywood loves money more than sharks love blood and Hollywood is getting hungry. Only 15 years has passed since Memento was released. What is the rush? Why? It is simply too soon. But then again they had had the audacity to reboot Spider Man only five years since the last one came out and guess what? It was garbage. It was just the same old origin story with different actors. It was boring and cliché with really idiotic and tiring action. Now I always see it at the bottom of the bargain bin.

It is ok to remake films that had lots of potential but did not work or there were problems that could have been fixed and there is sensible reasoning behind remaking foreign films. One of the best crime films of the 21st century, The Departed, was a remake of a Hong Kong film. David Fincher’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is also up there in terms of quality and it is a remake of a Swedish film. But sometimes it does not always work. Let Me In is a remake of another Swedish film Let the Right One In, considered by many including to be the best vampire movie ever made. Unfortunately some of the more subtle themes and subtle character moments are dumbed down or completely replaced and ruined. All to appeal to a more general autistic American audience that otherwise would not get it. That is wrong. The audience should be challenged, the audience should not have everything spoon fed to them or have all the information given to them through intravenous therapy. Show don’t tell, but then again it could have been much, much worse. It’s is all most a certainty that the challenging no linear narrative will be dumb down so the lowest common denominator will understand and all the black and white parts will be bright and colourful. So why remake Memento? It is not a bad film, it is not a foreign film and it is not an old film. Why?

Still from Let the Right One In.
Still from Let the Right One In.

The brutal truth is that they are going to hire some hack director, discharge fecal matter all over the screen and that will be that. The film will not be made by an artist but by a committee with one objective in mind, maximise profit. It will have a budget of roughly ten million dollars and half the budget will be spent on cocaine and prostitutes and if they are lucky, only if they are lucky their product, not a film but a product will have a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 5.3 on IMDB and make roughly 40 million at the box office. In about two weeks it will be forgotten about like an abused Chinese housewife because people will continue to watch and love the original.

The saddest thing is that there are amazing, new, creative, original screenplays out there and there are new up and coming directors with a burning passion of a thousand suns that are willing to make it and bring it to life. Believe it or not there is an audience that is tired of reboots and remakes and endless superhero movies that will see something new. So instead of taking a leap of faith and making an original film that has the potential to be great, that has the potential to be a future classic. No, instead they squander the money on remaking an already great film that is a classic. The remake will more than defiantly be terrible and only if they are lucky will break even and dissipate into the sands of time. Artists make art and hacks raise hands at board meetings. Slow down on the reboots and stop remaking classics. On March 3rd the new Ghostbusters reboot trailer with an all-female cast was released and it looks like aids. Nothing is sacred. No film is safe from a remake. It is only a matter of time until the best and most important films are forcible violated. It is now up to you to save the film industry. It is up to you to save art and original ideas. Jumanji, All Quite on the Western Front, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Scarface the list goes on. Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting things to change. Stop seeing this shit. STOP GIVING THEM YOUR MONEY!


Latest from our Creators