ByArchie R Spires, writer at
Archie R Spires

I've often been accused of suffering from the "Nerd's Blindspot", in which I will either actively refuse to watch, or outright ignore something new, at least when it comes to live action adaptations.

In 1989 Vertigo published Neil Gaiman's The Sandman. It was intriguing, deep, funny, sad, and always interesting. It introduced Death, Dream's sister, to the DC Universe and she, unlike he, is still a regular. Aside from a Justice League of America two issue story arc (Return of the Conqueror #22-23), I personally can't recall the last time Dream was mentioned.

Also introduced was Samael Morningstar, Lucifer, who challenged Dream to a duel to occur in exactly one year. When Dream returned to Hell to meet the challenge he found the formerly teeming Underworld empty; when questioned Lucifer pointed out that he'd been tired of being a pawn, and like Dream, was opting to retire.

RETIRE, not take a "vacation". Leaving with his longtime companion and lover Mazikeen of the Lilim, Lucifer locked the gates, and opened a piano bar in Los Angeles. This is where the 1999 series The Sandman Presents: Lucifer begins with the three issue "Morningstar Option".

In January, 2015 Fox began broadcasting their watered down version of Lucifer. Starring Tom Ellis and Lauren German in a "will they, won't they" wacky crime-fighting team-up waste of time. Gone was the mystique and mystery, gone was the eternal rebel, instead we were subjected to a milquetoast who'd seem more at home at a pick-up artists convention than in the Silver City.

Lucifer, who in Vertigo was nigh-omnipotent, nigh-omniscient immortal, who had indomitable will, could travel through any medium at the speed of thought, and refused to suffer fools; now has the ability to react to injuries briefly, cause women to get all hot and bothered, and has a supernatural awareness of any person's hidden desires and can compel them to speak the truth.

Something of a step down.

This version of Lucifer is boring at best and offensive to the mind at worst. He's literally boring in his conversations, interspacing what seem like every line of dialogue with some version of "You silly mortals" when people are upset about the events in their lives.

Try replacing that phrase with "You silly poor person" and imagine a rich man listening to someone complain that his car broke down, he's about to lose his job, then his apartment, and then he'll be on the street. Then the rich man gets into his disposable ’61-’62 Corvette and speeds away.

You'd want to hit that guy. With a truck. Dropped from outer space.

He's literally the type of person the phrase "What an asshole" was created for.

Here's another fun one:

DC already had a live action Lucifer in the 2005 film Constantine, played by Peter Stormare.

He was damned (Sorry, I had to) interesting. He had an agenda, he could speak coherently, and he didn't add insult to injury.
He knew what he was, and who he was.

Peter Stormare's Lucifer seemed like the kind of person with whom you could have a conversation. Tom Ellis' seems like the type who'd walk away mid-sentence (Your's, not his) to spend an evening negging his way into a woman's pants.


Latest from our Creators