BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

...Until the writers said to themselves one day, “Man...that IS really dumb. Let's stop doing that.”

The old days of comic books have been, simply put, downright hilarious at times. Some of the superpowers the writers have come up with really makes you wonder if they weren't high on something most of the time. And thanks to the internet, their stories will be around forever.

I already know this is going to be fun to research & write...and hopefully it brightens everyone's day reading it!

Loki's first appearance

You read that right. He was powerless to defeat Thor when he was wet! And considering Thor was a demi-god who could bring on thunder, lightning, and most likely make it rain, that was a very good weakness for the writers to ditch.

Go mail yourself

The Green Lantern is able to pretty much do what he wants superpower-wise, whether he transforms his fists into machine guns or his...never mind. But one time, in a comic far far away in the past, the writers thought he should change himself into a letter, mail himself to the bad guys, and beat the crap out of them.

Now, are we pretty glad Ryan Reynolds didn't pull that stunt in the movie?

Wonder Woman, done in by vanity

I know a couple women that are like that, and it definitely ain't wonderful.

Wonder Woman again, this time, done in by S&M

I know, S&M can be anybody's weakness, but you never expected it to be WW's, did you?

Super-Caller ID

If this power would have stuck around until the late 70's, the writers would have had to get rid of it, when the real caller ID was invented. Makes you wonder tho; was there a mutant or villain out there that was called Star67man?

Iron Man and his extension cord

Yep, back in the good ole days, Tony Stark had to recharge himself using a power cord and plug-in. These days, all it takes is a few million dollars and an arc reactor. Maybe Tony should re-think the cord idea?



Anywho, yeah! Thor makes a whirlwind with his hammer and traps Hyperion in a bubble of glazed sand. It's neat and all, but...why?

Speaking of whirlwinds and Thor, his hammer's little tornado can help him travel through time, too:

Superman's new power

Superman didn't like having his Mini-El being called cute, and he REALLY didn't like playing second fiddle to the little midget. He loses his powers when a spaceship crashes, and the radiations sucks them from him. But his Super-Mini-Man comes out of his hands, and possesses all his powers. Supes gets them all back when Junior sacrifices himself to save the city.

Thing rings, do your thing!

In 1979, Hanna-Barbera made a cartoon about a teenager who, with his two “thing rings,” could transform himself into The Thing, and save people, stuff and things. His name? Benjy Grimm. Apparently, copyright laws were a little more lax back then. But he could change into The Thing at will, just by using his thing rings.

Man, I really love saying thing rings.

Here, watch this if you need to see it for yourself:


It's not such a weird power, really, considering some of the wacky crap Superman has been able to do over the years. No, what's really odd about this one is the fact that Krypto could do it too...

Why Clark couldn't handle hoodwinking Lois Lane himself, we may never know...

Does anyone know of any more weird superpowers over the years?


Latest from our Creators