ByIdiotbox Watcher, writer at Creators.co
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Idiotbox Watcher

I'm close to tapping out - I won't lie - but I'll try again.

The crew decides to duck into a cove to avoid the pirate ship that's stalking them. The nearest harbor is Catalina Island, so off they go.

Bitchy Mom sees a light go on at a cabin near the shore, so she insists they land and go investigate - really smart, huh? Everyone leaves the boat except Salazar, his daughter Ofelia, and Strand. Salazar does NOT trust Strand for a second, which is probably wise, and it makes for the ONLY drama in this incredibly boring show.

The crew finds a survivalist family, and are welcomed with open arms. What follows? Well, more of what you've come to expect from this stinker - teens walking around brooding, the Mom being a bitch, and the Dad being totally clueless (sigh).

The survivalist family in the cabin consists of a kinda cray cray Dad, a Mother with a secret, two little kids, and another brooding teen (seriously?). Old Man Clothes druggie Nick immediately bonds with the two little kids, not surprising considering he's roughly on their maturity level. The Mother confides to Bitchy Mom that she has MS, and that she would love for the crew to take her two little ones (a boy and girl) off with them to get them away from cray cray Dad. So clearly something is rotten in Catalina.

Nick talks to the little boy and learns that one day soon the whole family will take 'Power Pills' and be together forever. Nick's ears perk up, cuz he's all about the pills, ya'll.

Clueless Dad's son bonds with the brooding son Seth on the island, even having some fun killing walkers at the boundary fence.

courtesy AMC
courtesy AMC

Clueless Dad comes upon this and, being clueless, chides his son for learning how to live in the 'new normal' SMH.

Meanwhile, back on the Abigail, Salazar searches for clues to Strand's agenda and breaks into a stronghold. Inside are maps and an AK rifle. One map in particular is marked with a route to Baja in Mexico. Hmmmmm.

Strand is on the island talking on a sat phone to an unknown contact, assuring this person that he 'will be there'. So the only remotely interesting plot-line gets fleshed out a little more. Emphasis on 'little'.

courtesy AMC
courtesy AMC

Back at the cabin, Nick is frantically searching for a stash, being a druggie and all. He hones in on a globe on a high shelf, opens it, and finds a handful of colorful pills. At this point the little girl interrupts him, and he puts the globe back on a table. Nick goes back to the boat and tells the crew that cray cray Dad is planning to go Jim Jones on the family, poisoning them with the pills - hey, the kid knows his drugs!

The crew goes back to the cabin to abscond with the two little kids, but before that can happen, the little boy tells everyone that the little girl is very sick in the bedroom. Nick looks at the globe, sees that it's open, and realizes that it's his fault that the little girl got dead - way to go, Nick!

The MS Mother cradles the dead girl close - big mistake. Why? Guess what happens next!

courtesy AMC
courtesy AMC

Yep, daughter turns and feasts on Mommy.

The crew takes the little boy and flees to the boat, preparing to bug out. Strand adamantly refuses to take another body on the trip (he IS the only voice of reason on this show, no matter what his motives are), and the arguing ensues. Brooding Teen comes in with a rifle, demanding his little bro back. They reluctantly give him up, and on the dock a visitor is staggering towards them - why it's Walker Mom! Brooding Teen tells little bro to wave at the boat leaving while he puts a cap in Mom's noggin. The boat sails away, awaiting the next boring adventure.

One other thing:

We know these people are REALLY DUMB, but brooding teen Alicia takes the cake. One scene has her wandering around the island - a strange place she's never been to, WEARING EARBUDS, listening to music. WOW! Ya can't fix stupid....

If you want to see how 'Zombie Daughter kills Mom' is done the RIGHT way, check out the original from the masterpiece 'Night of the Living Dead':

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