Tony Stark has always had great success with the ladies. But for the Captain America: Civil War premiere in France he has come out as having a different sexual preference from the one proposed in the movies: an iron fetish. It's heavy stuff!
In a promo video released on Monday, Tony (Robert Downey Jr.) approaches the greatest metal babe of them all: the Eiffel Tower. Her secret identity as Tony's loyal mistress, the Iron Lady, has just gone public.
During the 1-minute 42-second clip, Tony attempts to show off his metal companion's fidelity, with the tower flashing some saucy Civil War lighting effects that are actually pretty awe-inspiring.
“Tony here. Look at that towering technological triumph, you know? Makes me think of unity. Unity is sadly something that’s lacking in The Avengers crew lately, so I thought I’d seek counsel from the ‘Iron Lady’ herself. But you can’t come empty handed.
"Otherwise, I wouldn’t be an Iron gentle-Man. But I figured this being the City of Light, perhaps, she wouldn’t mind if I tinkered with her bulbs a little bit.”
In this very weird scenario, Tony is seeking advice from the Eiffel Tower about the conflict in Civil War, and has brought a fancy light switch to appease her.
He whips out a phone and switches off the bulbs of the iconic silhouette, plunging the skyline above the Champ de Mars into darkness:
"Let's start off with basic black."
Tony then fiddles around a bit, at which point the tower hottie takes over and speaks to him via lights. Tony says:
"Yeah yeah yeah blue's in, it's a hot color for springtime."
After some steely banter, the tower's message is plain for all to see:
France Is Team Iron Man!
So get lost, Steve! Iron Man is understandably overjoyed to have confirmed the loyalty of his mighty mistress, so he has a message for Steve Rogers:
"Team Cap?! How do you come back from that?"
With France allied with Team Iron Man, perhaps Cap should hope to get Germany and Singapore on his side — with the movie premiering in those countries tomorrow, perhaps he could conjure up something equally powerful at a landmark in another country.
Watch The Video Of Downey Teasing A Tower:
Then Watch The Thrilling Trailer:
Which team is your country on?
'Captain America: Civil War' will be released on May 6, 2016.