Now, don't get me wrong, I love pumping countless hours into video games as much as the next guy. But with so many triple A games out there, some may fall short of the optimistic podium of which they were placed or just turn out plain weird.
Here is my personal top 5 of the strangest and weirdest games that I have had the upmost pleasure to witness. Some are seizure inducing, some may trigger brain hemorrhages and some may cause you to lose hope in the video game industry. But, we will watch them and judge them accordingly!
5. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties
At the bottom of the list we have this FMV sweetheart that was developed by Kirin Entertainment for the 3DO Interactive Multiplayer. If you don't know what the 3DO is, it was a home video game console that was discontinued 3 years after it's initial release in 1993 and it was conceived by the same guy that founded EA. I don't know about you but that tells me more than enough! The plot was as follows:
PDWT is an adult-oriented romantic comedy graphic adventure game/dating sim. The game tells the story of John and Jane, who are being pressured by their respective parents to go out and find a spouse. The player's task is to get John and Jane together.
Wow, riveting am I right? I can already feel the glorious sense of character development and hours of cutscene exposition. This game is like one of those old-school DVD games where you don't so much as play, as you have to watch events unfold and occasionally click. To really convey what the game is like, you have to see see it! Here is the intro:
I honestly thought I was going slightly deaf whilst watching that. For real, that is the type of quality of the project and I'm surprised people journeyed on through that. Even the cover art screams 'please don't buy me'.
I would just like to point out that one of the selling points and descriptive features is 'Chickens'... chickens? what does that have to do with an adult romance game! I'm not sure if the company behind this had a lack of funding but the game was no where near what was intended and promoted:
Plumbers Don't Wear Ties received negative attention for its abysmal production values, nonsensical storyline, poor acting, and for primarily being presented as a slide show despite being advertised as a full motion video game.
I do like a quirky game but I think the critics have summed this one up, I think they also gave up after the intro...
4. Japan World Cup Series
You may have seen this one floating around the internet recently as it has attracted some popularity. Like the prior game there is no real gameplay, you just place bets and watch the hilarity unfold! Some horses stretch in a sexual manner and fire their jockeys, whereas some just hop on their hind legs and make a break for the finish line.
This game is extremely entertaining, if there are no sports on grab a few friends, break out the drinks and place some bets on this masterpiece. You'll thank me later!
3. Boong-Ga Boong-Ga
This arcade game was made by a South Korean studio for a Japanese audience, just looking at it and you can tell the Japanese would absolutely love it! There is no dispute that pretty funky things are all the rage over in the Pacific.The game is also known as Spank' em, which seems pretty innocent. I presumed it was a kind of promiscuous game of Whack-A-Mole or that hammer game you see at all the fairs. Well, oh boy was I wrong! While there is spanking involved, one concept is actually based around the Japanese game of Kanchō. Never heard of it? Well let me fill you in comrades:
It is a Japanese prank performed by clasping the hands together in the shape of an imaginary gun and attempting to poke an unsuspecting victim's anus, often while exclaiming "Kan-CHO"!
So not only do you spank, you also shove fingers up anus's. The point of game is to punish people, the ones that can receive the punishment are:
"Ex-Girlfriend", "Ex-boyfriend", "gangster", "Mother In Law", "Gold-digger", "Prostitute", "child molester" and "Con-artist".
You guys let me know if you see anything wrong with that line-up...
2. BAD MILK
This obscurity was developed by New York company Dreaming Media in 2000, the way to access it is through an internet browser and going through the process is reminiscent of those dodgy websites from the early days of the internet! The game is advertised as a demo so anybody can go and check it out. The basis of this game is that the player drinks some out of date milk with his coffee and proceeds to go into a wacky fever dream.
This is another FMV game so the quality and actual gameplay is what you would expect from such a thing: The clicks are off point, frames are crooked, but it does have certain degree of strange charm. On this adventure you meet such delightful characters as 'Smoking Guy' (pictured above), a dude drowning in a bath and a floating decapitated head. This cast will give you clues that you need the answers to if you hope to ever make it out of this dairy-fueled nightmare, some clues are actually hard to figure out. One involved you having to listen to the audio backwards so I guess that shows some innovation.
I personally never made it to the end of this so I can't tell you if our valiant hero ever defeats the calcium coma. But what I can say is that this game is very, very weird. Really, I think that this game is more akin to an experience than a video game. Although, it was at least interesting to work through!
1. Cho Aniki
The champion, the golden boy, one of the strangest video games to ever hit the shelves. If future historians somehow got hold of this treasure I'm positive that they would dig no more.
Cho Aniki is a strangely homoerotic Japanese video game series that debuted in 1992 for the PC. There are many sequels and spin-offs but the main focus is the original. It fits into the "Shoot 'em up" genre, but not quite with conventional planes and spaceships that we are all accustomed to.
As you can see here, it is clearly an enthusiastic Japanese Vladamir Putin shooting a man/penis thing at the player! You though I was kidding about the whole homoerotic thing, huh? Well the party doesn't stop there as there are many levels in which the player must forge through muscle bound men emitting their sexual beams of light all over the place. Just to reinforce this strangeness, the chracter roster for one of the sequels, Cho Aniki Bakuretsu Ranto-hen, boasts such a list of memorable protagonists;
Mami 19, a strange amalgam of a cute girl and a battleship transporting three naked, frolicking men. Adam, a naked man riding in half a moon and Uminin, an odd latex creature that resembles a condom.
The game does feature a solid control scheme and some tight gameplay mechanics, so at the core It's a pretty well made game but I guess that just wasn't enough!
These all made my personal list for the weirdest and strangest of the virtual world, be sure to let me know which one out of these you think deserves the top spot! Or comment any that you know of!