April has been about one thing and one thing only: Dark Souls 3. "But Ken, what about Star Fox Zero?" Dark Souls. "But what about Hitman's second and awesome episode?" Dark Souls! "But Ken, the HTC Vive released at the start of this month - it's literally the future of video games!" I SAID DARK SOULS, GOD DAMN IT!!!
With that cleared up, let's talk about Dark Souls.
Veselekov and his friends have banded together once more to create videos revolving around FromSoftware's masterpieces. This time, they've imagined how it would be if Dark Souls 3 was released in the same year as the original Resident Evil. Apparently it would have been an exceptional PS1 game.
The Playstation 1 Classic, Dark Souls 3
Allow me to run your through the moments that validate this video's accuracy and genius in every single way. Seriously, this is so spot on.
Look at the stilted movement, the ridiculous body proportions, the way the sword looks like an icicle attached to a piece of styrofoam; it's perfect. The movement actually reminds me of Resident Evil, and I suppose that could have been the influence for setting this video in 1996.
Look at how ludicrously out of place this text is, it couldn't be more accurate - even the grammar is inaccurate! I also love how Dark Souls 3's stunning backdrops have been reduced to what looks like an image from a really cheap projector.
Notice how the black bars have creeped down to towards the center of the screen in order to give us that "widescreen cinematic effect"! Makes the boss, his wooden sword and the terrible font all the more compelling.
THIS MENU! The little white-gloved hand that Japanese games still use, the terrible color scheme, the image of your character that looks absolutely nothing like your knight and the countless spelling mistakes - PS1-era gold.
They called this NPC "Busty Patches". My god, that's on point! It's amazing, we still have so many of these characters in video games. Japanese developers have simply refrained from using the words "busty". Oh wait - no, no they haven't. Never mind.
What the fuck am I looking at? Look at how the line down Vordt's face is perfectly aligned with that of the actual skyline! What in the name of god is he holding? Why has this camera angle been utilized for what is supposed to be a fearsome foe?! He looks like a decrepit golem-child sitting on a tree stump about to suck on a bubblegum lollipop the size of his torso. I love it so much.