ByThe Chaos Ninja, writer at
The defender on non-suckertry!
The Chaos Ninja

Game of Thrones…you did it…you made an evil character cross the line into a realm of absurdly evil in the 2nd episode entitled ‘Home’.

1. 'What you talking 'bout Hodor?'

Leave it to the web to jump right on it!
Leave it to the web to jump right on it!

Bran can not only enter the minds of animals and Hodor, but under the guidance of the three eyed raven he can mentally time travel to view the past. On his journey we are greeted by a young Ned Stark training the forever missing uncle Benjen, a feisty Lyanna Stark, and a young Hodor (formerly named Willis that can talk). At this point, it’s safe to assume his travels won’t end there and we will soon learn the secrets of Lyanna and whether or not she really is the mother of Jon Snow as many predict.

2. 'Meera and Bran, and Hodor, and The Raven, sitting in a tree...'

Meera is bored out of her mind watching Bran hang around the inside of a tree. To be honest, I don't blame her as its quite obvious an extended amount of time has passed on by, and with Hodor as your main source of conversation one my get a little antsy. She's ready to fight, but from the looks of it she'll be relegated to a background character has Bran digs deeper and deeper into the past.

3. 'NEVER piss off a giant'

Davos many not be the craftiest of fighters, but who cares when you have a horde of wildlings and one badass giant on your side. The most important lesson learned is DO NOT under any circumstance attack a giant with a weapon that will merely annoy him. Two Swords way up for one of the best kills on GoT thus far.

4. 'Olly is a dick'

The face of undeniable hatred
The face of undeniable hatred

Even if you don't kill Ramsay or Cersei, can you please give us Olly. Come one GoT, just give us Olly.

5. 'Bragging rights'

If you are going to brag about your sexual exploits, don't make the Queen the subject of your banter. You never know if the 9 foot tall Zombie Mountain (obviously light on his feet despite the heavy armor) may be lurking around the corner. Crushing skulls has officially become his signature finishing move. He'd make for one hell of a Mortal Kombat character.

6. 'Hell have no fury like a religious sect'

The High Sparrow may officially be the real gangster of the series. His welcoming death at the hands of Jamie as his loyal followers surrounded with weapons in hand was a pretty badass gesture of power. A man not afraid to die is almost invincible...especially with an army of devoted nut bags behind you.

7. 'Two Dragons and Dwarf walk into a bar...'

Aside from being clever with words, Tyrion can mingle with dragons. Those Dragons were far too welcoming of Tyrion. What does this mean? Well, if you are hip to the various rumors of Tyrion's lineage, then him being comfortable around dragons should come as no surprise.

8. 'A girl's story was nothing 'till now'

Arya has finally shed her former self in becoming 'No One'. In doing so it appears she has finally been accepted to begin her training with the Faceless Men, to walk down her path of becoming the little ass-kicker we always knew she would.

9. suck!

I'm beginning to believe you
I'm beginning to believe you

Ramsay Bolton is officially the most evil bastard, no pun intended, to ever grace television. A torturing sadist that can now add patricide to his list after literally sticking it to his farther, and then he goes on to feed his step mother and new born brother to his dogs. Way to go GoT, way to go.

10. 'He lives...and it didn't even require a topless witch'

Last but certainly not least, we learned that Melisandre actually does have more powers than just whipping out her breasts every 5 minutes. Jon's back, and though is resurrection wasn't as epic as I hoped, it's great to know the series isn't entirely devoted to villainous acts and we may get a hero out of it after all.

Some other key points of no-so-interesting, interest:

  • Theon realizes his self worth and wants to return to the daddy that left him to be tortured at the hands of Ramsay.
  • On the Iron Islands we see some characters that we haven't seen in ages and don't really care about to merely watch them die. Oh hello Theon's dad...goodbye now.
  • Tommen is officially the most sensitive and caring character to not die yet. This is GoT, you can't be that nice and live!
  • Sansa is wearing a nightgown, drenched, with a small blanket as her only source of warmth, as Podrick fails to make a fire, and she hasn't froze to death yet. She better have one kick ass end story after all she's been through.
  • Roose Bolton is dead for being the father of the most evil character in creation, too bad it was at the hands of said creation. In the end, Roose went out like a sucker.
  • Roose's wife...why on earth would you walk into that damn kennel with the baby? Why not ask for Lord Bolton before you walked into a dark, rabid dog infested tunnel with the Ramsay?
  • A haircut and a good beard trimming will bring anyone back from the dead. What's wrong with looking snazzy after your great comeback?

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