BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

Now that we know that Transformers 5 is rolling out, and has its female lead, let's talk plot.

Or, you know, something as close to a plot as you can have for a movie about talking, transforming robots blowing sh up.

They blew sh up looking for the AllSpark in 2007. That movie only got a 59% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but it made $709.7 million.

They blew some more sh up in 2009 looking for the Sun Harvester, and despite a 19% rating, raked in $836.3 million.

They blew yet more sh up in 2011 looking for The Ark. And, following the trend you might have noticed, stunk it up with a 35% rating from Rotten Tomatoes, while making $1.124 billion dollars.

Could it be? People love sh blowing up, and don't care what a site named after dying veggies says?

An 18% rating and $1.104 billion later, Age of Extinction saw more transformers blowing more sh up looking for and fighting over a Seed.

Now, with #5 coming out, it's almost a guarantee that the bots will be looking for something, and they'll blow massive amounts of sh up to find it!

Here is one story from the Transformers' past that I think would work as story for the new movie, to go along with all the sh blowing up.


Throughout the movies, the robots seems to have gotten bigger and nastier. So why not have a planet-sized bad guy in the next one? Unicron was the main bad guy in the animated Transformers: The Movie from the 80s, and was basically a huge metal planet that devoured other planets for energy. Kind of like Galactus, if he had the power to transform into a VERY massive, angry robot. That would be pretty insane, wouldn't it? A transformer the size of Saturn, and the shape of Saturn when it wasn't in battle mode.

Turns out, in this story, the good counterpart of Unicron was Primus. When he wasn't in battle mode, Primus was Cybertron! Or at least he was before it/he was destroyed. Or was it/he...?

If anyone can bring two planet-sized transformers together for a massive fight, it's Michael “Blow That Sh Up” Bay!

What do you think? Crazy stupid idea, or just plain crazy and stupid?


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