BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

I'm one of the gobzillions of fans who absolutely cannot WAIT to find out who the villain for the next Spider-Man reboot is going to be.

And considering I'm part of the minority who actually loved Spider-Man 3 and everything about Andrew Garfield's Spidey movies, that just goes to show how ultimately amazingly spectacularly excited I am!

Considering Venom, 3 different Goblins, Sandman, Doc Ock, Rhino, The Lizard, and Electro have already been covered, the number of good villains is dwindling. I can't imagine them doing another Goblin, but it's worked out pretty well twice now.

And whoever Michael Keaton was going to play? Looks like that may be out.

Let's have a look at some of the villains that Marvel hopefully knows better than to bring into the Spidermatic universe!

The Spot

The Dalmation of Punctuation himself, Dr. Jonathan Ohnn become The Spot after trying to recreate the radiation produced by The Cloak of Cloak and Dagger fame. J-Ohnn got something right, because he created a big black circle portal thing. The hole was destabilizing, and the good doctor jumped through it, because that's what you do when you've just created a tear in time and/or space. Right?

Anywho, he woke up floating in what he thought was The Cloak's little world, where he sucked his villains into.

He went back through the portal, and came out with spots all over his body (Crash Test Dummies, anyone?).

Sorry folks, that was way too much explanation for such an odd villain. He can make you punch yourself. He's out!


Any villain that invokes the visual of Captain Kangaroo just won't work in a Spider-Man movie, or any other movie, honestly. Especially a villain who got his superpowers from hanging out with kangaroos too much. Especially since those superpowers are...jumping a lot.


The Walrus is strong. That's it. That's all he has going for him. He runs around dressed up like a walrus, destroying crap. He doesn't even steal anything; he just likes destroying it. This would be a good little gag in Spider-Man: Homecoming, but that's about it.

J. Jonah Jameson to Spidey: I hate you! And your ugly suit too!
Spidey: What would you rather me wear, a walrus costume?

The Iguana

Sorry Iggy, but there's only room in this universe for one Super-Lizard.


This guy had the potential to be a pretty sweet foe, if, say, they gave a guy the ability to control millions of bees. But no, they took a former Nazi scientist who kills the queen bee of a mutated bunch of the insects, causing the bees to eat all of his flesh and take control of his consciousness. One day, Venom got pissed off and jumped into the bees, eating the guy's skeleton, which was the only thing holding him together after the bees ate his flesh, and he died.

If Marvel takes the 'guy controlling bees' angle and runs with it, maybe it'll work? But I just don't see that happening.


A really weird name for a villain (seriously, Vincent Stegron, use something other than your dino-sounding last name), and another lizard rip-off, Stegron managed to turn himself into a half-man half-stegosaurus monster. His power, besides spikes everywhere? Being able to control dinosaurs! WHICH IS SO COOL!!! Until you realized that they're dead. Except for in the Savage Land, which is...never mind.

Styx & Stone

A scientist tries to cure cancer. He uses a homeless man for a test subject. Homeless man turns into a living, walking cancer...guy. Do they try to get help from one of the dozens of brilliant scientists in the comics universe? Oh, no no no, they turn to a life a crime.

Part 2 of Crappy Criminals in the Comics continued here! Because holy web balls, did Spidey have a lot of horrible villains!


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