ByTraelon Randolph, writer at
Man of God. Writer. Superhero Nerd.
Traelon Randolph

When we imagine our favorite heroes (and antiheroes) taking down the bad guys, we usually don't picture them doing it in a manner that results in a ruptured testicle or two. Either way, it has actually happened, and unsurprisingly has proven to be quite effective on more than one occasion. Now let's mull over the few times our heroes have hilariously resorted to the infamous groin attack in the heat of the moment.

7. Supergirl Delivers An Electrifying Nut Shot

You see the pink lightning coming from the point of impact? This unfortunate turn of events was definitely electrifying. After finding out that Powerboy was a creepy stalker with a crush, [Supergirl](tag:2246875) ended up fighting the weirdo, where she kneed him in the groin. I guess the power of invulnerability wasn't enough to protect him from this vicious attack. No matter who you are, a knee to the jewels from Supergirl has to hurt. For Powerboy, I'm sure that's got to be worse than Kryptonite.

6. Thor Gives Hercules A Taste Of His Own Medicine

Hercules once proposed to Namora immediately after witnessing her kick Atlas in the crotch - so you could say he's a big fan of this particular move. He even nailed Sentry, inflicting pain on Marvel's equivalent to Superman! But in the panel above, Thor and Hercules were pretending to be each other. During their sparring match, Hercules says to Thor that he isn't fighting enough like him, that he needs to live up to the name Hercules. Knowing Hercules quite well, Thor then decides to fight more like him by kicking him hard enough in the crotch to lift him off of the ground. He really brought the thunder on this one.

5. X-23 Kicks Amadeus Cho In The Marbles

During Marvel's Fear Itself, X-23 repays Cho with a kick in the nads after he mindlessly endangered her and several other young heroes. In what seems like a merciless act, Laura actually showed a little bit of mercy here. For those of you that don't know, she doesn't only have claws in her hands, but in her feet also. So things could have been much, much worse.

4. Luke Cage Does The Unexpected

Although this wasn't much of a nutcracker, I thought I'd add it to the list. After all, it's a hilariously vicious groin attack. In New Avengers, Luke Cage fought Elektra in an encounter where Elektra broke her weapons against Cage's nearly impenetrable skin. Not long after the fact, Luke says, "Say hello to Matt for me" before delivering a thundering kick to Elektra's groin. Spidey even comments, "Ooff. That had to hurt." Honestly, I feel bad for Elektra. Not only did she break her weapons, but I'm sure she broke something internally.

3. Captain America Nails Hulk In The Nads

During Marvel's The Ultimates, Captain America ends up in a hand-to-hand battle with the not-so-jolly green giant. (Well it was hand-to-hand if you don't count the tank Cap dropped on the Hulk for good measure.) During this fight, we can see Cap get some good hits in on one of the most powerful beings in the Marvel Universe. One panel that really catches the eye is the one where Captain America gives Hulk a swift kick in the nads. It proved to be effective, because immediately afterwards, Cap easily takes the behemoth to the ground. A few issues later, Bucky commented on how he found it funny when he saw Cap "kicking the Hulk in the stones." You and me both, Bucky. You and me both.

2. Punisher Lights Up Wolverine's Crotch Like A Christmas Tree

In the issue where this groin attack took place, the two antiheroes were actually teaming up. Unfortunately, Wolverine became too violent and attempted to double cross him. Before Wolverine had the chance, Punisher demolished his undercarriage with an Uzi. Wolverine falls to the ground in pain, holding what's left before Punisher mutters, "They'll grow back."

1. Batman Delivers A Literal Nut Shot

While approaching your typical group of criminals, Batman sees one of them throw his gun in surrender, while the other still holds onto his weapon — bad idea. The Dark Knight kicks the hand holding the gun, causing the criminal to shoot himself in the crotch. Batman made this guy shoot himself in the junk, giving him a literal nut shot. Why? Because he's Batman.

What a way to end it!


Have any others to share? Go nuts in the comments below! (no pun intended)


Latest from our Creators