Wait, they just killed who?!
Cue angry Facebook emoji button.
A review of an episode of HBO's Game of Thrones is a lot like the Night's Watch's attack on Jon Snow - quick, bloody and cold. No longer content with point out plotholes on Reddit some GoT fanboys are now giving you the chance to change exactly what you you don't like about your favourite Westerosi characters. No.1 on the Arya Stark hit-list of duff plotlines is our visit across the Narrow Sea to Dorne. Now, a Kickstarter project from Fixing Dorne Productions is asking for a mere $20 million dollars to change two season's worth of David Benioff and D.B. Weiss's work...wow, someone really doesn't like Dorne!
Uber fans Dave Panfilo and Sean Ireland put across a pretty convincing case for eradicating everything Dornish from Season 4-5, so what does your dollar get you? For $20 million they will offer a 'plug-and-play' alternative. Basically whenever one of David Benioff and D.B. Weiss's Dorne scenes play, you press pause and play one of Panfilo and Ireland's. Simple...right? Wanting to stick more to George R.R. Martin's source material, the boys say:
"Maybe the big bad axe guy gets to use his axe?"
The project is a noble quest from the boys indeed; we all know that seeing Areo Hotah unable to swing his mighty axe was a missed opportunity, and one we would all like to see. However, it is about there that the project descends into madness.
At $23 million they will hire Nikolaj Coster-Waldau to reprise his role as Jamie Lannister (and force an apology for Gods of Egypt ). At $30 million they will offer George R.R. Martin $7 million to accept their project as canon, but most worryingly is the $50 million mark. With $50 million the team intend to 'Fix Stark' and have it so that Sean Bean's iconic Stark Patriarch is still alive in Season Five...madder than the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen!
Dorne has certainly been a sticking point for fans of the books and the show, but unless you can do a Bran Stark time travel, we're stuck with it. Benioff and Weiss came under fire for the lack of action, offing of characters, or just not including them. Arianne Martell, the Dorne heiress, joins a long list of characters who didn't make the cut from book to screen. Differences from the books were always going to enrage some, but are plug-and-play reshootings really the way to rectify the situation?
For those worried that Fixing Dorne Productions may reach that goal, or do the unthinkable and revive Ned Stark, they still have a way to go. Unfortunately, with only 23 days left to go and $23,731 raised (as of May 12) it looks like boys will have to back to the 'Dorning' board with this one.