Hey, Hey, Horror Hounds. Your old blood buddy Jay is back with a fresh take on some of your all time favorite sitcom characters and horror movie villains. The premise may sound ridiculous at first but lend me your eyes for a minute or two and maybe you won't find the concept so absurd by the time we're finished. I absolutely love the horror genre, however very few people know that I secretly have a serious sitcom obsession.
Thanks to Netflix and Hulu (and everyone else I send money to once a month), binge watching has become a favorite pastime of mine. The Office, That 70's Show, Parks & Recreation and many others play in a constant loop on my big screen in between interludes of blood and guts horror films.
Try to stay with me here, these are some interesting if not utterly insane ideas. Honestly though, in my twisted mind at least, they're not nearly the stretch you might be thinking. Let's Get Started!
5. Barney Stinson/Patrick Bateman - American Psycho
Barney Stinson from CBS's How I Met Your Mother seems like a relic left behind from a neon lit 80's nightclub. The first couple seasons of the show displayed Barney as a egocentric womanizer, an almost carbon copy of John Larroquette's character Dan from NBC's Night Court, without the law degree of course. As the show moved forward though Barney began to show many Bateman like qualities. His need for attention, his dedication to appearance and subsequent insecurities and anxieties were all eventually exposed to make Stinson seem more like a normal but confused guy. I hate to say it, but these are all prime examples of sociopathic behavior. I could totally see Barney throwing on a plastic suit and dancing to Hip to be Square. Ted took Robin back one too many times and now Barney is about to bury the incredibly large hatchet (axe) in the back of his head. It's gonna be legend, wait for it...
4. Sheldon Cooper/ Victor Frankenstein - Mary Shelly's Frankenstein
This comparison was extremely easy to draw. The similarities between the two doctors is actually staggering. Sheldon Cooper has had many misadventures in the realm of science. He's a driven doctor who believes everyone around him is basically just a bunch of unintelligible monkey's flinging dung at each other. The good doctor holds his own humanity to a higher standard than that. Dr. Cooper is obsessive, intense and sometimes very reckless in his pursuit of knowledge. It's been suggested by Sheldon's roommate and long time friend Leonard (Igor) Hofstadter that, and I quote, "He's just one bad day away from becoming a super-villain". I can imagine a crazy eyed Dr. Cooper standing over a reanimated corpse screaming "It's alive! It's alive!"
3. Dwight Schrute/Norman Bates - Psycho
Dwight is a functional loner who owns a small Bed & Breakfast called Schrute Farms (much like Bates Motel) just outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania. A social outcast and possible paranoid schizophrenic, Dwight spends his alone time pulling beets from the soil, chasing his even stranger cousin Mose and slaughtering assorted farm animals. He claims his mother is buried in "The East Fields" but considering Dwight once showed up for work wearing a tuxedo in which uncle was buried in. It's not that much of a leap to believe his mother may actually be upstairs sitting somewhere near a window as she watches the farm for "Dirty filthy girls." As the show finished up NBC tried to water Dwight down a bit in order to push an The Office spinoff called The Farm. Much like the failed series pilot itself, I wouldn't be shocked if those producers were never heard from again.
2. Rose/Annie Wilkes - Misery
The character listed only as Rose from the CBS hit Two and a Half Men fits Annie Wilkes almost to a Tee. It's odd that these two very similar manic depressive psycho stalkers could exist in totally different worlds. Annie stalked Paul Sheldon until she found the perfect chance to prove she was his #1 fan. Annie desperately needed someone to quench her deflated sense of loneliness as well as her ever burning bloodlust. Rose on the other hand, was actually able to fulfill her dreams as she relentlessly wore Charlie down until finally winning him over, which in my opinion gives her a leg up on Ms. Wilkes. Also, it's hinted in the first episode after Charlie Sheen's departure that Rose was actually responsible for Charlie's untimely demise. While Rose often presents herself as more chipper than Annie, you still don't want to be the guy to catch her eye. For Rose I'd bet that any relationship, real or imagined, is a solid "Till death do we part" commitment.
1. Stewie Griffin/Hannibal Lecter - The Silence Of The Lambs
Family Guy has poked fun at an endless number of Hollywood films including The Silence of the Lambs. However, they've never gone full on parody with the 1991 blockbuster and I think they're truly missing a golden opportunity. You could almost edit the film and add Seth Macfarlane's maniacal toddler voice over Anthony Hopkins, probably without missing much of a beat. Stewie was often portrayed as an evil genius with a hatred for everything including his own mother in the shows first 8 or 9 seasons before becoming a sort of open character. Imagine the possibilities though, Stewie as Hannibal, Lois as Clarice, Meg as Katherine Martin, Chris as Buffalo Bill, Joe as Jack Crawford and Peter as the bumbling Dr. Chilton. What are you waiting for FOX, it's not exactly like the show's been super fresh in recent years. "A pre-school teacher once tried to test me, I ate her liver with some jelly beans and a nice Capri Sun, hissssss."
That's all for now t.v. addicts and Horror Hounds. This was a fun article to write and I'm sure I'll be back to do it again soon. Don't forget to follow me here as I'll be returning from time to with more fun and outrageous horror and t.v. related articles. Come see me at The Horror Hound Hotel on Facebook and become eligible for all our exclusive contest. Until next time, this is Jay signing out.