Deadpool is a quick thinking, split personality superhero that (literally) bleeds effervescent witticisms. He always knows how to make the best out of every situation, or get out of a pinch in a hurry.
Many Superheroes could provide excellent tips and tricks, but you would probably needs Superpowers to do them. Worry not though, Deadpool is the Every-man and his life hacks can be found in almost any home.
1) Always Pack a Dress.
In need of assistance in a hurry? Make sure you pack something frilly in your bottomless satchel. Help will always mysteriously appear when a damsel is in distress. Sure, your rescuer may be disappointed to find out they won't win any actual brownie points for their effort, but tell them that they've already won your heart.
2) Need to Repair Damage or Suppress an Enemy?
Did something break? Have to subdue your Arch Enemy? Duct Tape works great at holding things (or people) together. Whatever it is that you are wrapping, make sure to wrap securely. And if the object of your taped desires happens to be sentient, definitely let them know just how much you are enjoying it.
3) Pancakes Are For More Than Just Eating.
What do you do when you need a safe place to fall? I suggest pancakes. We always overdo it when we make pancakes. Don't throw those puppies away, pancakes are spongy and awesome. They make for a great place to either take a quick nap or break someones fall.
4) Stay Up-to-Date on One Liners and Mainstream Media.
Whether it's a pesky fly circling your head, an annoying shadow, or your foe; Talking is a great way to scare them away. I recommend long winded tirades about completely useless topics. Eventually you will distract your target, letting you overtake them... or they will implode out of pure frustration.
5) Bring a Knife.
Your friend is hurt, starving to death, and can't make it to a food source. Sure, you could just dial 911, bring them something to eat, or carry them to safety; but if that isn't your style you can always fix the problem by feeding them pieces of your own flesh. Having a healing factor definitely helps, but regardless we are all just giant sacks of meat, so take that knife and cut away!