BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

Is it bad that whenever a Shania Twain song comes on my radio, that the first thing I think of is that wild rumor from back in the day about how her then-husband Robert 'Mutt' Lange had cheated on her, and gave her the AIDS? As it turned out, he DID cheat on her, he WAS a dirty mutt, but she never got the virus.

Since the latest hooplah in Hollywood about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard is still flying fresh, why not celebrate some of the craziest, wackiest rumors to ever grace the internet? And landlines and newspapers, for those of us who used to get our rumors the hard way!

1. Mr. Rogers, the not-so-friendly ex-marine neighbor sniper

This one makes its rounds on email and Facebook about once a year, and fools thousand of fresh gullible folks each time. And the numbers associated probably go up every year; 150 kills, a different war every time...there's even a variation of him starting his children's show as a part of his community service. For child molestation!

worst name ever
worst name ever

2. Bill Gates, a.k.a. Lucifer

he'll crush the world!
he'll crush the world!

Someone with too much time on their hands (isn't that how all this crap gets started?) figured out that when the name Bill Gates III is converted to ASCII code, all the number add up to 666.

3. He really did bite the head off of a bat


But he didn't know it was an actual, real live (dead, actually) bat! Ozzy was performing one night, and a fan threw what he thought was a rubber toy bat up on stage. He grabbed it and chomped down on its head, not realizing his mouth was about to be filled with the warm gooey goodness of bat blood.

4. Walt Disney, the unseen attraction at Disneyland

Walt could have been a really strange duck for all we know, but the rumor that he had his body frozen and hidden in Disneyland is a real doozy. His ashes are on record as being spread over Forest Lawn Memorial Park in California.

Some of the ashes could have floated over to the park...

5. Every celebrity is dead dot com

Sites like are a dime a dozen, but thanks to the gullibility (is that a word) of way, way too many people on our planet, and Facebook, it seems a new celebrity “dies” every week. Just plug in a name, and bam! You have your headline about ____ dying in a fiery ____ accident in ____.

6. The death of a munchkin

It's completely beyond me how people can see a munchkin killing himself in the background of that Wizard of Oz scene, but so many people are still convinced it's true.

See for yourself!

Please, don't let this start a fresh round of dead munchkin rumors....


It's a freaking bird!

7. Marilyn Manson, Kevin Arnold's best friend

This is another one that just. Won't. Die.

Even though Marilyn Manson's birth name is Brian Warner, not Josh Saviano, and they look nothing alike, and a simple Google search for the real grown-up Paul Pfeiffer will NOT get you a picture of Marilyn Manson, people still believe it.

8. And no, Glenn Rhee was NOT Short Round

Another fairly new rumor is that Steven Yeun is the fella that played Short Round in Indiana Jones. Personally, I always thought that this guy from Karate Kid...

...was Short Round, all grown up, until the internet came along and proved me wrong. Never mind that there was only 2 years difference between Temple of Doom and Karate Kid 2...

9. Marilyn Manson & Cher both removed a rib or 2, but for WAY different purposes

For Cher, it was to get skinnier. She even hired a plastic surgeon to inspect her sides to disprove it.

For Marilyn Manson, it was him get access to his man bits better. Just look at that face:

That deserves another Jim Carrey.

10. Oprah and Gayle, sittin' in a tree...

Two famous women just can NOT be friends on this planet without starting the rumor that they're lovers under covers.

11. Richard Gere has 99 problems, but a gerbil wasn't one

This one goes back to the 80s, where people had to work REALLY hard to get rumors going. Like forging ASPCA documents, and probably literally cutting and pasting a picture of a presumably dead gerbil and Richard Gere onto a piece of paper. Then he had to fax it, or send it in a letter, or something horribly slow like that. However he did it, he successfully pulled off one of the grossest pranks of his time.

12. You kiss like this, and, well...

You can't really feel too bad for Angelina after she jump-started the rumor of her and her brother's incest. That's just a little bit much lip for siblings.

13. Mikey liked pop rocks & pop too much, and they KILLED him!

Former child actor John Gilchrist, the one-time face of Life cereal (“Mikey likes it!”), according to urban legend (and the movie Urban Legend), ate pop rocks and drank soda and died a horrible, agonizing death.

Here's Mikey from back then:


And now:

Looks pretty alive to me!

I still loved the movie, though-


Michael Rosenbaum and Joshua Jackson! Yeah, baby!

14. Jamie Lee Curtis has both sets of tackle

Unfortunately, I'm not talking about fishing. The claims are so absurd, that she reportedly hasn't even ever wasted her time addressing them in public.

15. Lady Gaga also has the wrong tackle

In true Lady Gaga style, in 2011, she told a French TV station that she loves the rumor that she has a penis. It was started in 2009 from this camera angle:

I see underwear, but whatevs.

And last but not least....

16. Elvis!

Thank ya for readin' this article. Thank ya very much.


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