BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

Me: Hi! My name is Sam.
You: Hi, Sam!
Me: I just watched the last two episodes of Season 6 of Game of Thrones!
You: *clapping*
Me: And they were the only two episodes of I've ever seen!

And that's when the fight started.

Yes, I'm part of THAT group. The very small group of people that haven't seen any Game of Thrones' episodes. Until tonight, anyway.

My coworkers talk about it all the time, just like The Walking Dead. But for weeks now, I haven't been part of the Monday morning “did you see that???” conversations.

So, I did what any weirdo would do in my situation. I don't have the time to catch up on six seasons of GoT, so I decided to watch "Battle of the Bastards" and "The Winds of Winter."

Here are my thoughts on the episodes!

***Obviously, fairly big Game of Thrones spoilers will be mixed in with my rambling***

Yes, I have my Unsullied Armor on, in preparation for the backlash.
Yes, I Googled Unsullied Armor.

Episode 9 – Battle of the Bastards

I could have started on any episode, really, but I decided to start at the episode that looks like it cost the most to make, ever, in the history of television. They spent all that money on it, so why not give them one more viewer? I know, I'm a nice chap.

The battle

I got pretty involved with the battle! When this:

Turned into this:

Thanks to Merida:

I breathed a sigh of relief. As emotionally invested I was in Jon Snow, from all my YouTube video watching and episode nine, I was seriously relieved to see that it looked like he was going to survive. I can't imagine what true fans of the show were thinking!

After seeing this earlier this season:

Was he going to die again? And then get brought back again? Man I hoped not.

I hate this guy, whoever he is!

I know, he's Ramsay Bolton. Or, at least he was, until this scene:

Seeing him get eaten alive was strangely awesome, considering I'd just met the guy for the first time an hour earlier. But man, what a dick!

I mean, I think I know why he keeps calling Jon a bastard, but that really isn't very nice.

Don't know who this guy is either, but go, big guy, go!

It sucked seeing him die, but at least he got to rip another guy in half!

Something like that.

Now, I just really want to watch Braveheart again.

Episode 10 – The Winds of Winter

The first thought that came to mind when this episode was, being an almost complete noob to the show, “What in the winterhell is going on?” The last episode was nothing but epic battles and blood and guts, and all of the sudden, we're all calm and hanging out in a castle? But I hung on anyway, determined to finish it.


The episode quickly grabbed my attention with the guy chasing the kid through the tunnels. That was a little creepy. But I was hooked for the whole hour when this happened:

All I could think was, green goo? Underground tunnels? Where are the ninja turtles?!

And then BOOM! I had no idea why that lady blew them up, but I found out soon enough.


Speaking of that lady, Cersei looks pretty wicked on the iron throne, doesn't she?

I still don't know if she's bad or good, but from what I remember on YouTube, with her banging her brother and all, she can't be too great of a person. All I know is, you get some funny looks when you call it 'the metal throne' at work when talking to your GoT fan coworkers.

King of the North!

I also found out, before I yelled it (thank goodness), that you don't just go around yelling “King of the North!” It didn't seem like a big deal to me, but apparently, that would have spoiled some things and made some people mad.


Sorry, wrong dragon-riding movie. But the scene where Dan...Dana...De....Da Dragon Lady rode her dragon was pretty sweet!

She is the king of the world!

That dragon lady has some very nice ships, doesn't she?

Once again, my sincerest apologies if I made any true Game of Thrones fans out there read what might be the most annoying and frustrating thing they'll read this century. You're a loyal and nerdy bunch, and I tip my hat to you!