Sometime around February, the internet got sick of reading Star Wars theories. Whose child is Rey? How did Maz Kanata get her wise little hands on Luke's lightsaber? What the hell happened to Snoke to make him so damn ugly? Each of these questions spawned a thousand theories, and eventually theories get boring.
But a lot has happened since February: We've seen the world rage at Zack Snyder, Captain America chose the wrong side and the X-Men fight an impossibly dumb ancient mutant with blue plastic skin. That superhero fatigue, combined with the news that Star Wars 8 just wrapped shooting and the excitement of seeing Darth Vader prowl the galaxy's corridors of power once again in Rogue One, has all eyes on Star Wars once again.
All of which makes this the perfect moment to pose a fresh theory about Rey's highly mysterious background, courtesy of the Redditor confusedcryptid.
Did Snoke Create Rey In A Lab With Luke Skywalker's DNA?
OK, so you're probably dubious about this one from the off. I don't blame you. But diving a little deeper into the argument, it actually makes sense... kind of.
The theory begins with the Battle of Jakku, during which the Empire attempted to defend the Imperial research base they had established on the sparsely populated planet. Being so remote, the base would be the perfect place to conduct unethical and dangerous Force experiments. After the Empire lost the Battle of Jakku, they retreated into the Unknown Regions where, after a period of time, the experiments were resumed.
What follows hinges on the idea that the Empire somehow got a hold of Luke Skywalker's severed hand, which is basically as insane as fan theories get, but let's run with it anyway. The hand was used to take DNA; that DNA was used to create a test tube baby. The puppetmaster behind this strange experiment was none other than Snoke himself, driven by his fascination with the Skywalker bloodline.
For reasons unknown, the experiment was deemed a failure, and Rey fell off the radar, somehow ending up back on Jakku. Confusedcryptid theorizes that she may either have been kidnapped or presumed dead.
Personally, I think both could be true. Let's imagine that one of scientists leading the experiment recognized it had been a success, that a baby had been birthed using Skywalker DNA, and that there had been some indication of the Force existing in or around her. This person, however, came to care for Rey, and soon realized that very man who had ordered her creation now posed an extreme threat to her existence. An innocent baby would be soon be corrupted by something akin to pure evil.
He or she faked Rey's death, and secretly smuggled the baby off her planet of birth to the safety of Jakku, by this time uninhabited and off the radar of both Empire and Republic. Snoke bought the lie, and turned his attention to Ben Solo.
Is it possible to create a baby using DNA from a hand long-since severed? I don't know, I'm not a geneticist, but this is Star Wars — the rules of our world need not apply. Any theories on how Snoke came to be in possession of the hand in the first place would be welcomed. You can read the Reddit thread in full right here.
There's every chance that Star Wars 8 won't even address the question of Rey's parentage (or will wait until its closing moments to do so), but everything from their meeting at the climax of The Force Awakens to the way his lightsaber called to Rey suggests that she has a history with Luke Skywalker — even if that does contradict the considerable evidence that she might in fact be a descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
For now, it's a waiting game. Episode 8 hit theaters December 15, 2017. Rogue One arrives Dec 16, 2016. Check out the teaser trailer above ahead of the first full-length trailer's debut this week at Star Wars Celebration in London.