South Park and Eric Cartman go together like Randy Marsh and Lorde — they are, in fact, one and the same and probably shouldn’t be watched by children of a certain age. If not for his rapport with Kyle, Stan and Kenny, Cartman would have become No. 1 on America’s Most Wanted list a long time ago.
Though in many ways the show is untraditional, it is entirely accurate to say that Cartman is often utilized to perfection as the classic TV enemy or villain (when he’s not helping the protagonists for his own means, of course). He schemes, cajoles, and manipulates to get what he wants, often with zero regard for how his actions will affect his so-called friends and the world as a whole. In fact, if it hurts the world as a whole, that’s usually a bonus for Cartman. This is the spoiled child who has dressed up as Hitler, beat up a disabled child, led countless hate marches, and forced classmate Scott Malkinson to eat his own dead parents. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!
Here are some of my personal favorite Cartman moments.
1. Cartman Is A Whistleblower
One of my favorite Cartman-centric episodes culminates in the reveal that Santa Claus is the illegal source of the NSA’s ability to track the movements of American citizens. In a cynical homage to whistleblower Edward Snowden, Cartman informs the public, but it turns out no one really cares that they are being watched.
2. Cartman Confesses To Garrison
Mrs. Garrison — the transgendered Mr. Garrison — is furious that her ex, Mr. Slave, is going to marry Big Gay Al after the governor legalizes same-sex marriage. So Mrs. Garrison uses a class project about taking care of eggs to prove that only heterosexual couples can successfully parent. When Cartman breaks his egg, Garrison refuses to give him a poor grade, and he just can’t get over it.
3. Cartman Can’t Wait Three Weeks
Buying into the hype of the Nintendo Wii has Eric going crazy leading up to its release, hanging around the game store and falling into a sleepless cycle of delusion. His mania is a delight to watch.
Cartman is an unstoppable force, for all the wrong reasons, but we love him all the more for it. Now respect his authoritah! Click here to see clips of these best moments and more.
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