ByMark Anthony Wade Lynch, writer at
Trying to become Earth's Mightiest writer or at least one that people look for.
Mark Anthony Wade Lynch

When South Park first started, the show was all about its four young protagonists. Cartman was a jerk, Kenny died every episode, Kyle was rational (and Jewish), and Stan was the "normal" kid. But today, the cast has evolved to the point that nearly everyone in the town can have their own chapter. Characters like Token, Butters, and even Sheila Broflovski have starred in their own episode. But no one has had a more stratospheric rise to stardom than Stan's dad Randy Marsh.

Randy went from being a side character to a fan favorite, bringing us some of the series' funniest and most controversial moments. He always ends the show with a moment that makes us stop and think, "Wait, what the heck just happened?!" With that in mind, we're looking back at some of Randy's most ridiculous bits over the years.

1. Randy Fights Bat-Dad

Randy v Bat-Dad: Dawn Of Justice.
Randy v Bat-Dad: Dawn Of Justice.

As Seen In: 'The Losing Edge' — Season 9, Episode 5

The South Park boys may hate baseball, but Randy Marsh is a massive fan. While the kids were trying to get out of a summer tournament, Randy took their games as an opportunity to beat up a dad supporting the opposing team. Randy came across the infamous Bat-Dad; a parent so dedicated to his team that he dressed up as a fat Batman. The two squared off like Rocky versus Apollo Creed, and like Rocky, Randy came back from a beating to take down Bat-Dad, all while singing "I'm the best around." Randy was arrested (as he was at every other game) and became the ultimate drunk baseball dad fighter.

2. Number One At Making Number Two

Randy Marsh atop the porcelain throne.
Randy Marsh atop the porcelain throne.

As Seen In: 'More Crap' — Season 11, Episode 9

Randy, like almost every guy, is proud of his poops. But one particular poop was a masterpiece. It was the biggest poop he had have seen, and made the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest poop of all time — much to the dismay of previous record-holder, U2 frontman Bono. Since Bono refused to be No. 2 at number two, he broke Randy's record. But Randy and his buddies refused to let Randy settle for second, so Randy trained and got the record back, only to learn that Bono was beating the record because he was in fact a giant piece a crap.

3. Randy's 'Ectoplasm'

As Seen In: 'Over Logging' — Season 12, Episode 6

What's the most popular thing on the internet besides cat videos and my articles? Pornography. Picture a world with no internet and an insatiable desire to watch porn. That's exactly what Randy had to deal with when a massive internet blackout hit South Park and the rest of the world. Randy needed his porn and he needed it ASAP. So as soon as he got near a computer — the last computer in the world with internet capabilities — he looked up all the porn he could as fast as he could. And, well, let's just say he was a bit backed up.

4. Feelin' Good On A Wednesday

As Seen In: 'The Cissy' — Season 18, Episode 3

Ever had to use the bathroom really bad and every time you've gone in, the stalls are packed or disgusting? This is what us guys go through. Randy wasn't going to take it anymore, so he decided to become a woman. Well, at least he dressed like one. Randy created the persona Lorde so he could use the women's bathroom. But this alter ego accidentally spun out of control and became a New Zealand pop singer. Yes, THAT Lorde. The best part is that there is actually a song called "Push (Feel Good on a Wednesday)" that the writers of South Park wrote and that's sung by Australian singer Sia.

5. I'd Like To Solve The Puzzle

As Seen In: 'With Apologies To Jesse Jackson' — Season 11, Episode 1

Randy Marsh had defeated everyone on Wheel of Fortune, and was about to win a ton of money if he could solve the final puzzle. The category Randy had to solve was "People Who Annoy You." The letters were in and he got "N_GGERS." As a black man, I wondered where they were going with this. And Randy guessed the answer we were all thinking. Thankfully, he was wrong, with the correct answer actually "NAGGERS." But his major goof provided the basis for the entire episode.

6. Randy Takes Up Cooking

As Seen In: 'Crème Fraîche' — Season 14, Episode 14

Randy gets addicted to the Food Network, so much so that he becomes obsessed with cooking and he also ... gets off to it as well. Randy is so obsessed with cooking and the Food Channel that his wife leaves him for her Shake Weight. Randy quits his job to become a chef at his son's school and create meals that are absolutely terrible. But Randy keeps on trying. He officially gives up in the end when his wife puts him to sleep with a skill she learned using her Shake Weight.

7. Just A Butterfly

As Seen In: "Insheeption" — Season 14, Episode 10

During South Park's parody of Inception, Randy went into the mind of his son and Mr. Mackey to help them battle their hoarding problems. But once in the dream world, Randy decided to become a butterfly and have sex with other butterflies. Everyone, from the fire department to a pizza delivery guy and even Freddy Krueger, tried their best to save Stan and Mr. Mackey, but all Randy wanted to do was get some butterfly poon.

8. The Amazingly Randy

As Seen In: "Cock Magic" — Season 18, Episode 8

This episode saw the boys battle chickens during bouts of Magic: The Gathering, with their games aptly titled "Cock Magic." But the events inspired Randy to revisit his own form of magic. You see, Randy used to be a magician who would make his dong dance and perform tricks, and at one point he even destroyed it, only to have it reappear in someone's mouth. It was bizarre, it was sick, but in Randy's defense, it was still mesmerizing cock magic.

What are your favorite Randy Marsh moments? Let me know in the comments below.


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