Well this is plum news.
Clue, the guilty pleasure Tim Curry movie from 1985 based on the classic Hasbro board game, is getting a remake. If you've never seen the original, it's pretty faithful to the premise of the game: Six strangers are invited to a dinner party at a remote mansion. When a murder occurs, each of the six becomes a suspect and must investigate the others to clear their name.
Before we talk about the remake, let's rewind back to the '80s and revisit this classic scene from Clue — skip the first minute to get to the really good stuff.
Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and basically every other Tim Curry movie, Clue is a total campfest. The remake probably won't feature a moment quite as amazing as this:
"I hated her so much, it, it-- flames, FLAMES! on the side of my face, breathing-- breath, heaving breath..."
...but enough time has passed to give the millennial generation some new clues to chew on.
So, what do we know about the movie? Tracking-Board are reporting that 20th Century Fox, the studio behind Deadpool, have snapped up the rights to Clue 2.0. The idea is to make an action-adventure flick with potential to become a franchise (because Hollywood). Gore Verbinski (The Ring, various Pirates of the Caribbean films) may be in the director's seat.
Who Could Be Cast In Clue?
You can only make a movie like this by embracing the absurdity of somebody in a posh house committing a murder with a candlestick, so it's pretty important that the casting is on-point. Having thought about this more than is probably healthy, I present to you six of Hollywood's finest worthy of bringing Clue to a new audience.
This was almost too easy. Who else could play our favorite harlot Miss Scarlet? Jessica Chastain was a bad bitch in A Most Violent Year, a cunning strategist in Zero Dark Thirty and she also did some space-y stuff in The Martian. That's probably less relevant. The point is that the gorgeous redhead has the chops to play a devious femme fatale, and I'd kill to see her step into Miss Scarlet's overpriced Louboutins.
There are plenty of old grey-haired types who could embody the Prof, but after considering Dumbledore himself (Michael Gambon), I Plum-ped for Stellan Skarsgard. If you've seen the Thor movies, you'll know he has just the right level of crazy, and he was also a killer in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Mrs. White is your classic, slightly chubby cook/servant type, although in the original Clue movie she's portrayed by the late Madeline Kahn as a black widow on the brink of insanity. I like both versions, and I reckon Suicide Squad's Viola Davis would be amazing as either a housemaid with dark secrets or a straight-up husband-killer.
Reverend Green (at least in the UK version of the game) is a minister who could probably do with brushing up on the ten commandments. It's a left-field choice, but Jamie Dornan (Fifty Shades of Grey) could smash it as a quiet, God-bothering man with a tight grip on a candlestick.
As for Colonel Mustard, a typical mid-20th century hunter of ivory rhino horns on African safaris, wouldn't Paul Rudd (Ant-Man) be the greatest casting choice of all time? Cast your mind back to Van Pelt, the rifle-wielding hunter from Jumanji, and that's essentially what I'm gunning for here.
And finally, the elderly dame Mrs. Peacock deserves a middle-aged, cougar-ish makeover for Gen Y audiences - my vote goes to Nicole Kidman, so long as she gets an opportunity to seduce Rev. Green with that silky Aussie accent. And of course, it wouldn't be a Clue remake if we didn't get a Tim Curry cameo, just like FOX's upcoming update of Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Clue is still in early development and could be a few years away. Until then you'll find me in the billiard room, with Miss Scarlet and the lead pipe. Knock first.
Who Would You Cast In Clue?
(Source: The Tracking Board)