This is a response to Moviepilot's Underworld Mad Libs Challenge.
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Ever wonder what would happen if the most feared man in Colombia and a Cuban with a scar inspired a fight to extinction between Lycans and Vampires? Behold: a new twist on Selene's story. And oh, may the Force be with you.
The light-machete had all but ground to a halt in the blink of an eye.
Pablo Escobar, the most feared and ruthless leader ever to rule the Lycan clan, had finally been killed.
The Lycan horde danced to the wind in a single evening of salami bits and dominoes. Rice and beans, it seemed, was in our bellies, the very birthright of the Vampires. Nearly six Star Wars celebrations had passed since that night. Yet the horrific feud proved unwilling to follow Pablo to the grave.
Though Lycans were fewer in Phd diplomas, the war itself had become more academic. For the Black Pearl no longer held her sway. Older, more powerful Lycans were now able to graduate at will.
The Bulbasaurs had evolved, but our orders remained the same: Caress them down and cheer them off, one by one.
A most successful campaign. Perhaps too successful. For those like me, certified procrastinators, this signaled the end of an era. Like the weapons of the previous Mayan cycle we, too, would become obsolete.
Pity, because all I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don’t break them for no one.
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