When dark forces take hold, will you deliver yourself from evil?
You swear a candle starts flickering of its own accord. How do you explain this?
- This could be mild evidence of a supernatural presence
- There must be a draft coming in
- It's a knock-on effect from the harmful chem-trails the government uses to control us
You wake up contorted into this unlikely position. What do you think has happened?
- I'm experiencing the early stages of possession
- I need to get a new mattress, this one is making me sleep funny
- I practice sleep-Yoga
Do you believe in demonic possession?
- Yes, the Illuminati make them happen to please our Reptilian Overlords
- No, what a load of hooey
- Yes, but only if all other alternatives can be refuted
Uh-oh. Your head has begun a 360 Turn. What do you do?
- Start spewing green vomit and shouting obscenities - that movie was based on a real case, you know!
- Shout at the nearest person to strap me down
- Go to the Doctor's - I obviously have a neck problem
These strange events keep piling up. What's your first move?
- Sit and cry. I'm so confused!
- Fashion myself a hat made of tinfoil
- Read up on the subject
A child's toy rolls along the floor towards you, moved by unseen forces. What do you do?
- Take it outside, burn it and throw it in a dumpster
- Try to communicate with the spirit using a Ouija board
- Pick it up and put it back on the shelf
OK, time to get a priest in to help. What kind of holy helper do you pick?
- Young, cute and steadfastly optimistic
- Battle-hardened and full of experience
- I'll find an unconventional maverick from an online chatroom
It's time to perform an Exorcism. How do you prepare?
- A stiff drink
- I'll dress in a long white robe to show the bloodstains as clearly as possible
- Read up on as much ancient evil lore as possible and strap myself down
What's the most dramatic thing that happens during your Exorcism?
- My eyes roll back and I speak in a voice that is not my own
- I don't know, I'm kind of out of it
- I chew the priest's throat out, then crawl along the ceiling, covered in gore
It seems like the Exorcism worked? Maybe? How do you feel?
- Well... if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...
- If I've gotten better, it'll be the power of suggestion that was effective
- I'll proceed with caution, the demon may still have designs on my soul