Which Horrifying Clown Are You?

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'Kill you all!' The clown was laughing and screaming...

  1. What would a partner say was their little pet peeve about you?

    • I can be very stubborn
    • I'm difficult to sleep next to, apparently
    • I need to watch my mouth sometimes
    • I can be insensitive
  2. Pick a color for your stylish Clown coiffure!

    • Red
    • Classic Orange
    • I prefer bald, actually
    • Green
  3. What do you like to do in a swimming pool?

    • Splash around, uncoordinatedly
    • Float
    • Hold children under the water
    • Make balloon animals and make them bob across the water to the kids
  4. How do you approach a cutie-pie you like the look of?

    • Flash them my winning smile
    • Stab them repeatedly in the chest
    • Just be myself
    • Give them a little gift, a single flower, perhaps
  5. Tell us a joke...

    • OK, kiddies, gather round and get ready to chuckle...
    • Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You DO? Well, you better let the poor guy out!
    • *stabs you in the face*
    • *eats your face*
  6. Pick something sharp...

    • Teeth
    • Knife
    • Claws
    • Wit
  7. What might I find in your sack of tricks?

    • Sweets
    • A wind-up toy
    • Guts
    • A balloon
  8. What is the focal point of your clown outfit?

    • My cheery grin
    • It's all in the eyes, my friend
    • My thick, lustrous hair
    • My giant, jaunty bow-tie
  9. Why did you choose a career as a clown?

    • I just wanted to make children bleed
    • I just wanted to make children laugh
    • Oh, there's so much more to me than just my clowning skills...
    • I didn't choose the clowns, the clowns chose me!
  10. Come on, be honest - are you secretly evil?

    • I'm your worst dream come true. I'm everything you ever were afraid of.
    • I'm not evil, per se, I just like eating brains a lot
    • Ain't no secret, bro
    • No, I'm happy and full of joy and I just love children!
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