Can You Survive A Cannibal Film?!

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Have you enough skills, luck, and knowledge to live through this Amazon nightmare?!!

  1. Why were you cast in the role of exploitation protagonist?

    • My cousin is making the movie and he needed someone he didn't have to pay very much...
    • I'm as sexy as they come, so why wouldn't I get the job?!
    • I'm already a star of the cannibal exploitation sub-genre, so it was an easy choice!
    • This is merely a bump on my road to mainstream fame and fortune! I am an auteur!
    • I'm a retired porn star who needs some easy cash, and my body's still pretty good.
  2. Do you like disturbing exploitation flicks?!

    • Ewww, no I hate gore! I can't stand violent movies!
    • They're pretty good, but I wish the stories were a little more original.
    • Dude, I fucking LOVE them!
    • Don't patronize me by suggesting what sub-genres I should subscribe to! I only like 60's Giallo films, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
    • Wait, what's an exploitation film again?
  3. You've been asked to go to the Amazon to locate a missing American expedition! What do you take with you?

    • An iPod with all my survivalist tunes, and my luggage! Wait, did you say jungle?
    • The perfect mix of boots, hat, knife, and flare gun! I'm stocked for success!
    • My sardonic wit and cunning! I need nothing but my body and skills, for I am the master of the jungle!
    • My trusty machete, rifle, and flint! I'm an adventuring conqueror!
    • A canteen, some army rations, and my camera! Gotta snap some sick pics!
  4. Your plane has crashed in the jungle! One of your friends is trying to attach the landing gear when you see movement in the treeline! What do you do?

    • Stay in the damn plane! They can't get me in here!
    • Go out and help your buddy attach the landing gear. It's probably nothing.
    • Go outside and investigate! I have to know what's going on!
    • Pull your buddy back into the plane before something bad happens!
    • Don't worry, it's only the natives! Maybe they can help us fix the plane!
  5. Your friend went to relive himself in the jungle and disappeared! What's the plan?

    • Split up! I'll stay with the plane.
    • The rest of us focus on fixing the plane. He's as good as dead.
    • Split up! I'll lead the rescue party!
    • We'll head into the jungle, but if we don't find him in an hour, we're leaving!
    • Let's go after him! He can't have gone far!
  6. The local native tribe has captured you and is taking you by canoe to their village! What now?

    • Wait, you didn't say cannibals! Maybe they're not actually wanting to eat me.
    • Try to bargain with them! Surely I can get my point across!
    • Fight my way out! These savages won't eat THIS traveler!
    • Tip the canoe and swim away! They won't find me in the river!
    • Stay calm and wait for an opening to escape. I need to play it smart.
  7. Well, you must have done something right, because they're letting you partake in the ritualistic eating of a foe! Will you eat another human's liver?

    • I'll ask for seconds! That'll make me look tough!
    • Oh God, the horror! I'll try, but I can't guarantee it'll stay down!
    • It's horrible, but that's what I need to do! I'll pretend it's not a liver, but instead it's a tasty burger!
    • I don't have a choice. I really need to avoid insulting them.
    • Eww, no way! I'm getting out of here!
  8. You found the mostly-eaten remains of the missing expedition! What should you do?

    • Try to bargain with them to get the remains back to your plane. The families deserve some closure.
    • Wait, are they REALLY dead, or is this just a trick to scare off white people?
    • Ask if there are any leftovers from the grisly meal! You need sustenance!
    • Just stay calm and collected. We need to leave SLOWLY and CAREFULLY.
    • Confront the savages! How dare you kill my fellow Americans?!
  9. Your friends have all been killed, and the cannibals are cooking them up! What's the plan?!

    • I'm avenging my friends! Those bastards won't get away with this!
    • I'm not staying here! I need to get as far away from this place as possible!
    • Run straight for the plane! If I make a beeline, I'll get there faster!
    • It'll be easy to escape while they're eating them! Thanks for facilitating my escape, guys!
    • Can I make it through the jungle alone? There's so many deadly creatures out there! I guess I have to get away.
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