We finally answer the most burning of questions: Just how would the Clown Prince of Crime cause you to shuffle off this mortal coil?
So. Imagine you're a superhero. What'd be the most distinctive visual element of your costume?
- The mask!
- The leather!
- The shadows I hide in...
- The cape!
Surprise! You actually are a superhero - and you just arrived in Gotham city, looking to make a difference. Who do you go after first?
- The Joker
- Harley Quinn
- Whoever steps out of line first
- The Penguin
But wait! There's an old lady perilously balanced in a tree. What do you do?
- Find a ladder, and coax her down.
- Throw her my trusty tree-repellent spray, and head back off into the night.
- Call the police - this is their kind of problem.
- Climb up and rescue her.
You soon run into a gang of troubled youths, causing a ruckus at their local rec center. What do you do?
- Immobilize them, and leave them for the cops.
- Try to reason with them.
- Beat them senseless.
- Leave them be.
Eventually, you move up to more serious crime. You uncover a severely corrupt mayoral candidate. What's your first move?
- Throw him off the roof of City Hall.
- Take it to the newspapers.
- Punching. So much punching.
- Scare him straight.
Next up - you discover that a major oil company is causing substantial environmental damage to Gotham. Your move, hotshot:
- Is it possible to punch an entire company in the face?
- Have I befriended the Commissioner yet?
- Do I have enough money to just buy the company outright?
- How available are industrial strength explosives?
Uh-Oh. While you were deliberating, the company sent Bane after you, and now he's trying to snap your spine in half. What's your plan?
- I'll out-fight him!
- I'll out-think him!
- I'll out-run him!
- I'll out-maneuver him!
That worked surprisingly well - but now it turns out that Lex Luthor was behind the whole thing? How're you going to infiltrate his penthouse lair, though?
- Those guards look pretty beatable to me.
- There's got to be a way to paraglide in from a nearby building, right?
- A series of cunning disguises is always the right call.
- The sewers, then a lift shaft, then an oversized air vent. Y'know, the usual way.
When you arrive in his office, though, Luthor's not there - but Harley Quinn is. What's your opening line?
- "Why, Quinn...I 'Harley' recognized you..."
- "Wuh? Buh? Guh?"
- "WHERE IS HE?"
The ensuing fight...doesn't go well. As you slip into unconsciousness, you hear the Joker laughing. What's your final thought?
- "Lucky I called the Commissioner before I came here..."
- "Wait, who?"
- "Not again..."