How Would the Joker End Up Killing YOU?

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We finally answer the most burning of questions: Just how would the Clown Prince of Crime cause you to shuffle off this mortal coil?

  1. So. Imagine you're a superhero. What'd be the most distinctive visual element of your costume?

    • The mask!
    • The cape!
    • The leather!
    • The shadows I hide in...
  2. Surprise! You actually are a superhero - and you just arrived in Gotham city, looking to make a difference. Who do you go after first?

    • Whoever steps out of line first
    • Harley Quinn
    • The Penguin
    • The Joker
  3. But wait! There's an old lady perilously balanced in a tree. What do you do?

    • Call the police - this is their kind of problem.
    • Find a ladder, and coax her down.
    • Climb up and rescue her.
    • Throw her my trusty tree-repellent spray, and head back off into the night.
  4. You soon run into a gang of troubled youths, causing a ruckus at their local rec center. What do you do?

    • Leave them be.
    • Try to reason with them.
    • Immobilize them, and leave them for the cops.
    • Beat them senseless.
  5. Eventually, you move up to more serious crime. You uncover a severely corrupt mayoral candidate. What's your first move?

    • Punching. So much punching.
    • Scare him straight.
    • Take it to the newspapers.
    • Throw him off the roof of City Hall.
  6. Next up - you discover that a major oil company is causing substantial environmental damage to Gotham. Your move, hotshot:

    • Do I have enough money to just buy the company outright?
    • Have I befriended the Commissioner yet?
    • Is it possible to punch an entire company in the face?
    • How available are industrial strength explosives?
  7. Uh-Oh. While you were deliberating, the company sent Bane after you, and now he's trying to snap your spine in half. What's your plan?

    • I'll out-run him!
    • I'll out-maneuver him!
    • I'll out-think him!
    • I'll out-fight him!
  8. That worked surprisingly well - but now it turns out that Lex Luthor was behind the whole thing? How're you going to infiltrate his penthouse lair, though?

    • Those guards look pretty beatable to me.
    • There's got to be a way to paraglide in from a nearby building, right?
    • A series of cunning disguises is always the right call.
    • The sewers, then a lift shaft, then an oversized air vent. Y'know, the usual way.
  9. When you arrive in his office, though, Luthor's not there - but Harley Quinn is. What's your opening line?

    • "Why, Quinn...I 'Harley' recognized you..."
    • "Wuh? Buh? Guh?"
    • "Harley."
    • "WHERE IS HE?"
  10. The ensuing fight...doesn't go well. As you slip into unconsciousness, you hear the Joker laughing. What's your final thought?

    • "Not again..."
    • "Wait, who?"
    • "Goddamnit..."
    • "Lucky I called the Commissioner before I came here..."
Your result:
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