Which Star Wars: The Force Awakens Character are you?
You’re stranded on a desert island, when suddenly you are visited by aliens carrying boxes of VCRs from Radio Shack. What do you find buried under the limestone cowboy?
- A rascal scooter
- Victorian tapestries
- Eli Manning’s Tote Bag
- Rabid lima beans
While burglarizing an Idaho winery, you are accosted by a man dressed as an alpaca. What do you decide to put on your pumpernickel bagel?
- Lake Side Asbestos Farm
- Bing Bong No One’s Home
- Graphite toothbrush
- Sorry Chickadees
During a rather raucous lime picking excursion, you stumble upon an old amulet shaped like Happy Days superstar Ralph Malph. What do you scream before going to bed?
- “Fire that hermaphrodite hedgehog before it brings down this whole company!”
- “Lana, the triceratops got into the pickles again!”
- “Susanne Sarandon has a lovely macramé collection.”
- “Dunkin Donuts fields an excellent team at the intermural lacrosse championships.”
While smelling the inside of old radish boxes, you are greeted by Jeff Goldblum dressed as a Parisian Mantis Tamer. You turn around to find:
- Brundle Fly in all his glory
- Shiloh, that dog from that book you read in 4th grade
- Jodi Foster’s last shoehorn
- A rap album by Papa Smurf
While waiting patiently for hugs from a reluctant chickpea, you decide to peruse a local llama dispensary brochure. Where did you bury the chalice?
- Inside pinky the beanie baby knockoff
- Between the walls of the Tucson JCC racquetball court
- Under the day bed of horrors
- In the garden of Murray Hill Co-op
Knock knock. Who’s there?
- Shards of glass
- Gus the friendly ghost
- Seldom heard rain puppies