Which Star Wars: The Force Awakens Character Are You?

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Which Star Wars: The Force Awakens Character are you?

  1. You’re stranded on a desert island, when suddenly you are visited by aliens carrying boxes of VCRs from Radio Shack. What do you find buried under the limestone cowboy?

    • A rascal scooter
    • Victorian tapestries
    • Eli Manning’s Tote Bag
    • Rabid lima beans
  2. While burglarizing an Idaho winery, you are accosted by a man dressed as an alpaca. What do you decide to put on your pumpernickel bagel?

    • Lake Side Asbestos Farm
    • Bing Bong No One’s Home
    • Graphite toothbrush
    • Sorry Chickadees
  3. During a rather raucous lime picking excursion, you stumble upon an old amulet shaped like Happy Days superstar Ralph Malph. What do you scream before going to bed?

    • “Fire that hermaphrodite hedgehog before it brings down this whole company!”
    • “Lana, the triceratops got into the pickles again!”
    • “Susanne Sarandon has a lovely macramé collection.”
    • “Dunkin Donuts fields an excellent team at the intermural lacrosse championships.”
  4. While smelling the inside of old radish boxes, you are greeted by Jeff Goldblum dressed as a Parisian Mantis Tamer. You turn around to find:

    • Brundle Fly in all his glory
    • Shiloh, that dog from that book you read in 4th grade
    • Jodi Foster’s last shoehorn
    • A rap album by Papa Smurf
  5. While waiting patiently for hugs from a reluctant chickpea, you decide to peruse a local llama dispensary brochure. Where did you bury the chalice?

    • Inside pinky the beanie baby knockoff
    • Between the walls of the Tucson JCC racquetball court
    • Under the day bed of horrors
    • In the garden of Murray Hill Co-op
  6. Knock knock. Who’s there?

    • Shards of glass
    • Gus the friendly ghost
    • Snuffleupagus
    • Seldom heard rain puppies
Your result:
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